Self-Care: What you need to know

Self-care is trending. But before you dismiss it with the heap of other pointless social media trends, consider what you need. Would your mind or body benefit from you putting time and energy into caring for yourself? If you often feel tired, anxious, stressed, or depressed, the answer is probably yes. So let’s take a closer look at self-care.

What is self-care?

Think of someone you love in your life. Now think about the ways you care for them. That could be making time for them, giving them words of encouragement, or getting them gifts. You probably actively care for all of the people in your life on a regular basis. But many of us don’t do the same for ourselves.

Self-care is the active investment of time and energy in (you guessed it!) caring for ourselves. It’s an act of acknowledging that our minds and bodies work hard and need some attention. This isn’t self-obsession or narcissism. It’s the recognition that rest and restoration are key, that having compassion for ourselves is important, and that we should show ourselves the same kindness we show others.

Why self-care is important.

But is self-care really necessary? Older generations never talked about self-care and they all turned out fine. But you could also argue that self-care was better built into daily life in a pre-digital age. Now, disconnecting is impossible unless you make a concerted effort. To combat the stressors of living the average American life in 2018, self-care matters. Here are a few reasons why.

It mitigates stress.

Mental health is in a critical state in our country. More Americans than ever report suffering from anxiety and depression. And a portion of that can be attributed to the fact that most of us feel stressed most of the time. Dedicating time to self-care – whether that means getting enough sleep, carving out time for an activity you enjoy, or meditating– helps you manage stressors and protect your mental wellbeing.

It supports mindfulness.

We live in a fast-moving, highly-connected world. It’s not uncommon to go through an entire day simply responding to the inputs in front of us. But when we climb into a bed after a day of simply trying to keep our heads above water, we often feel exhausted and unfulfilled. Taking time to slow down and practice self-care disconnects us from this go-go-go mentality so we can pause and mindfully enjoy the best moments in our lives.

You can’t pour from an empty cup.

When you’re burnt out, you don’t feel up to much. That includes being there for the people in your life and investing in your community. Think of it this way. If your energy levels are a cup, self-care is a way to refill it. And you’re only able to pour yourself into the people around you when your cup isn’t already drained.

Quick and easy ways to practice self-care.

Fortunately, there are some really easy ways to jump in with self-care today! Remember, this is just an act of taking care of yourself. So it’s really as simple as dedicating some time to doing what you feel like your body and mind need. Here are a few suggestions to get you started.

Get outside.

When was the last time you spent an hour in nature with no agenda? Head to the beach or your favorite hiking trail and enjoy. Spending time in the fresh air is good for you.

Drink a beverage.

Slowing down in our busy world is hard. Sure, all of us could probably benefit from an hour of meditation – but getting our minds corraled for that long feels very challenging. Instead, brew a cup of your favorite warm beverage. Find a comfy place to sit and enjoy your coffee or tea. Taking that time – even if it’s just ten minutes – to rest with your thoughts and find contentment could transform your whole day.

Sleep.

No, really. Practicing self-care can be as simple as getting some shut-eye. This is all about giving ourselves what we need. And if your body is telling you it needs rest, listen to it!

Journal.

There is power in learning to observe our thoughts and listen to our internal dialogue. Journaling can make that easier. If your brain has been feeling muddled, try pulling out pen and paper. The act of capturing your thoughts can help you unlock new potential and unload burdens.

Say no.

A big part of the reason all of us feel so stressed and tired is that we stretch ourselves to our full capacity. And, sure, it’s exciting to see what we can accomplish when we strive, but striving all day, every day isn’t healthy. One of the most powerful acts of self-care is saying no to things that would overextend you.

Talk to us.

Another great way to care for yourself is to make sure that you have the support you need. Our team at the Ventura Counseling & Wellness Center is here if you want to talk. To learn more about wellness and counseling services, get in touch.

Is Winter Wearing You Down?

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is a depression that occurs in fall or winter and does not end until spring or summer. There are many theories of what causes SAD, the largest being a Vitamin D deficiency. Vitamin D deficiency can stem from a lack of sun exposure, as well as disruptions in sleeping and waking cycles. An important neurotransmitter or brain chemical, known as serotonin, is sensitive to light, and the absence of light can affect its potency and release, which may lead to depression. SAD is a form of clinical depression and can interfere with school, work, relationships, health, and more. The physical, emotional, and cognitive issues that accompany SAD can have long-term, negative effects when experienced without treatment. Simple chores and work tasks can seem insurmountable for those suffering with SAD, but luckily there are many options that can help alleviate this type of depression.
Here are some things you can do (please consult a licensed physician beforehand):

Light-Therapy: shown to have very beneficial effects for patients with SAD. This therapy utilizes a light box that mimics the sun’s natural rays, typically around 2,500-10,000 Lux (amount of light intensity). Patients who sit in front of this box for at least half an hour a day can talk on the phone, read, or do anything while awake to achieve the optimum benefits

Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy: This has been shown to have the best long-term outcomes, and can also improve quality of life year round

Antidepressants: please consult a licensed MD before taking antidepressants. A prescription medicine may help alleviate SAD but is recommended to be taken in conjunction with cognitive-behavioral therapy

Exercise: Can seem incredibly daunting, but even a short walk around the neighborhood every day has been shown to have positive effects on mood and health. To stay accountable, try inviting a family member, friend, or neighbor to exercise with you. They will reap the benefits, too!

Go outside every day: Try to get out as much as possible, and take advantage of sunny days by eating lunch outside, going on a hike, or doing something artistic, like painting or writing

Create a healthy sleep routine: This is crucial. Set a consistent time to go to sleep at night and wake up each morning. Avoid television, computers, and carbohydrates before bed for best results

Take up new hobbies: This is a great way to meet new people and break up the monotony of the winter months. Hobbies that include an aspect of social interaction, such as Book Clubs, Sports, or cooking classes, can also improve mood and increase happiness. For book clubs in your area, please refer to: http://www.readerscircle.org/

Above all, patients must be willing to work towards dealing with Seasonal Affective Disorder in a productive and meaningful way.
For more information about Therapy or Counseling in the San Fernando Valley or to speak to one of our staff, please contact us (818) 758-9450 or email us info at info@westvalleycounseling.org
West Valley Counseling Center is located at 19634 Ventura Blvd. Suite 212 Tarzana, CA 91356

Disaster Mental Health

Recently, I had some experience with the effects of disaster during the Sonoma and Napa wildfires.  I wasn’t in Northern California at the time but family members, including my husband, were. Not only did I witness their reactions to the events, but I felt secondary distress before and after.

This is what I know:

 

When we are stressed our bodies react by releasing hormones and other chemicals that push us into fight or flight so that we have the energy to get away, or stand and fight the danger. Some people react differently; they might freeze, literally unable to move, or they might feel absolute calm during disaster – which doesn’t mean they won’t later feel the effects.

When the danger passed, people complained of feeling weak, sore or “beat up”, exhausted by the experience. They said they felt tired, needing more sleep than usual; others said they were  waking up hour after hour, tormented by anxiety or by flashbacks. Most of the people I know said they were “scattered” or unable to think straight. Many people shifted into high gear after the fires, remaining in a state of fight or flight for days. One relative who has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder noticed that her symptoms were more and more bothersome daily. Another friend who suffers from anxiety only got worse during and after the disaster, others with chronic illness such as depression found that their warning signs were much worse. The one who was completely calm began to have difficulty sleeping about ten days after the fires started. The experience intensified everything for everyone.

Meanwhile, at home in Los Angeles, I started losing things like keys, phone, appointment book, things I found after a frantic search, right where I had left them. I started over-worrying at the thought that I might be late, and couldn’t sleep more than four hours a night. And I wasn’t even there during the disaster.

Each of us react to disaster in different ways, and each of us recover from disaster in different ways. Recovering from disaster (or any other major stressor) does not happen overnight. People need caring and support, time, and encouragement to find their way but in most cases the body and brain need to be reminded to relax and heal. Deep breathing, picturing a calming place, playing with a pet may, listening to favorite music or guided relaxation meditation may help;  for some people prayer is calming, for others specific relaxation exercises may help (there are apps and information available online). Pick what works for you! Take good care of yourself!

Physical activity such as a brisk walk or other exercise activates deeper breathing and relieves muscle tension. Exercise helps the brain to move forward, no matter how you choose to do it. Activities such as coloring or other art projects, keep the mind moving forward, and support calm.  These types of activities can also provide distraction; a needed break from stress. Eat good, nutritious food, drink plenty of water, and try to spend time every day relaxing.

Finally, support from others can be a big part of recovering from disaster. Sometimes it helps to tell the story of what happened, sometimes it is too soon or too painful. Everyone is different!  Sometimes family and friends help the healing, and other times it may be important to find a mental health professional to support friends, family or yourself move through the process of recovery. Accept the help that is offered, it is meant with love and kindness!

If you’d like to make a tax-deductible donation of any amount to support WVCC, please go to our website at westvalleycounseling.org, or you can mail a check directly to West Valley Counseling Center at 19634 Ventura Blvd Suite 212, Tarzana, CA 91356. The tax ID number is 27-2188918.

WVCC to open a new location in Ventura County

West Valley Counseling Center is excited to share with you our plans to open an additional office in Ventura County

In keeping with our mission of providing affordable, community-based therapeutic services at our new location in Ventura, CA., WVCC will model the same strong foundation that has allowed West Valley Counseling Center to make meaningful contributions to the community Our highly trained therapists at the Ventura location will provide compassionate mental health care in a private practice setting, all at a reasonable cost.
The Ventura office, scheduled to open September 1st is located at 5450 Ralston St, Ventura.Ca. Our grand opening is scheduled for Sunday, September 17. Check our website
(westvalleycounseling.org) for more details and updates.

On behalf of the staff at West Valley Counseling Centers, we thank you for the opportunity to serve you. Our goal is to help children, families, and adults receive the services they need to thrive. We look forward to walking side by side with you in that journey.

Art Therapy With Children and Teens

Art Therapy With Children and Teens:
Where Youth make social, emotional, and behavioral changes while having fun in the process.

Children love to make art; they are naturally creative and imaginative. As such, art therapy can be a more enjoyable and less threatening approach to treatment than traditional talk therapy. The art therapist will tailor art interventions, projects, and material choice to match the individual child’s unique preferences, needs, and goals. This means that art therapy will work differently for everyone. That being said, there are some overall concepts that can explain how art therapy works.

Art Therapy, Emotion Management, and Behavior Change
Sometimes it is difficult for children to find the words to accurately articulate what they are feeling. Without a way to express emotion, children might release painful or otherwise overwhelming feelings in inappropriate or unsafe ways. For example, anger might lead to aggression, sadness might lead to inattention at school, fear might lead to running away, etc. Expressing emotions in art allows children a cathartic release after which they feel a sense of ease. In this way children learn to use art as a coping skill to process emotions, so that they can feel empowered to show up in the world at their best.

Art Therapy, Stressful Life Events, and Trauma
Challenging life events such as divorce, death of a loved one, bullying, or trauma can impede a child’s capacity to function at their maximum potential. Some youth might feel intimidated or overwhelmed if asked to discuss these events directly. Addressing life challenges creatively and speaking through metaphor offers a level of distance from what might otherwise be overwhelming to address. Art making eases children into facing their challenges, beginning the process of acceptance and healing.

Art Therapy and Social Skills
Children and adolescents with poor social skills might be intimidated by verbal interaction, or else tend to play out socially inappropriate patterns when engaging verbally. To introduce artistic collaboration and creative team building exercises in an art therapy group is to utilize a language that all children enjoy and respond to. Since art is a fun language, one children haven’t developed inappropriate behavior patterns through, children can more effectively communicate and bond with their peers. Social skills concepts such as teamwork, reading social/emotional cues, listening, etc. are addressed as they arise in the group process to achieve learning through experience.

Art Therapy and Self Esteem
In art therapy youth are non-judgmentally heard and praised for any form of creation they make. The concept of “good” art does not exist, instead children are empowered to appreciate the uniqueness of their artistic voices. All children, regardless of artistic ability, learn to think of themselves as competent artists with something to say, which builds self-esteem and motivation.

For more information on how art therapy works feel free to contact Liat Alon, registered and board certified art therapist, at Liat@westvalleycounseling.org.

Announcement of April Fundraising Event at WVCC

Join us! Community Get-Together on Friday, April 7, 2017

It’s almost spring, and self-care is in the air! West Valley Counseling Center is hosting a community get-together on Friday, April 7, 2017, from 4:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m. Stop in for a good time and a great cause! Your donations will enter you to win “relaxing” prizes from local businesses.

We are excited to share our passion for the work we have been doing in the community. Enjoy wine, cheese, and sweets, and chat with the center staff. Learn more about what we do, and about our work in the local community. It’ll be an evening of great conversation and tips on small actions that can make a big difference.

Our event will be at West Valley Counseling Center, 19634 Ventura Blvd, Suite 212, Tarzana, CA 91356. Free parking is available behind the building, and our get-together will be on the second floor.

To make sure we have enough refreshments for everyone, please RSVP to Lacey (lacey@westvalleycounseling.org) or Karyn (karyn@westvalleycounseling.org) by April 1. We’d love to see you there.

Be sure to ask us about our community programs, including:
•    Helping Families Thrive: Domestic violence prevention and counseling
•    Mental Health Reentry Program: Mental health and supportive services for young adults reentering society from the criminal justice system
•    Life In Transition Workshop: scholarship program providing intensive 3-day workshops for trauma survivors

If you’d like to make a tax-deductible donation of any amount to support WVCC, please go to our website at westvalleycounseling.org, or you can mail a check directly to West Valley Counseling Center at 19634 Ventura Blvd Suite 212, Tarzana, CA 91356. The tax ID number is 27-2188918.

Together We Make a Community. Together We Heal. Together We Can Ensure a Better Future for All.

Together We Make a Community. Together We Heal. Together We Can Ensure a Better Future for All.

That was the theme for WVCC’s April 7 Spring Benefit Event, celebrating our 6th year serving the community.
And what an awesome success it was thanks to all of you!

My thanks to my wonderful staff who showed up by getting the word out to the community, bringing in friends and family, selling raffle tickets, and all the “backstage work” cleaning the offices, baking treats for the event and all the clean-up at the end of the evening.

And a special thank you to Lacey Jimenez & Karyn Adelstein for all their hard work in putting this all together. It is an honor to work with such a great team.

I also want to thank the many local business owners who donated raffle prizes: Loews Santa Monica Beach Hotel, Ancora Cucina Italiana Restaurant, Outlaw Barbershop & Salon, Nova Center, Skagen, Museum of Latin American Art, YogaWorks, The Massage Place, SoulCycle, and many others.

And most important, all the community members who attended this event and honored us with your presence and support. It was great to see old friends and meet new ones. I personally had a great time! Hope you did, too!

With love & gratitude,
Sharon Sharon Burnett
Founder & Director
West Valley Counseling Center

Your continued donations will help support our mission of providing the dignity of quality mental health and social services programs to all regardless of socio-economic circumstances or limitations.

Programs in Need of Funding
• Helping Families Thrive Program provides psychosocial and mental health services for immigrant families
• Domestic Violence Prevention Program provides education, prevention and counseling for domestic abuse survivors
• Mental Health Reentry Program provides mental health services for adults and their families reentering society from the criminal justice system.
• Life In Transition Workshop Scholarship Program offers full or partial scholarships for trauma survivors and those experiencing current or past losses, to attend a 3-day intensive workshop

Three Ways to Donate
• One time donation (cash, credit card or check made payable to WVCC)
• Monthly contribution (sign up on our PayPal account at westvalleycounseling.org)
• Designate West Valley Counseling Center as your charitable organization if you are a Ralphs card member or shop at Amazon.com

Breathe: Staying Present When Holiday Fun Becomes Holiday Frustration

While the holidays are a special time of year for us, our families, and friends, our schedules can become so packed with activities that we experience mental traffic jams from time to time. It can be difficult to stay in choice, to maintain a balance in our daily lives, because we feel obligated to participate in as many events as we can.

In a previous blog entry, we talked about dealing with typical holiday stresses. From family get-togethers to office and neighborhood parties, this time of year can easily become the “hectic holidays.” Are you dealing with some or all of the following?

–    Family visits
–    Attending parties and get-togethers
–    Cooking holiday meals
–    Hanging decorations and lights
–    Shopping for gifts
–    Inclement weather
–    Traveling

During the holiday season, there’s always something to be done, and there’s always someone to visit (or someone who is visiting you). You may feel that you’re always running from one thing to the next, and are unable to save some time for yourself.

One thing that may help? Slow down, stop if you need to, and breathe. A few minutes of deep breathing helps to reset the mind and to give yourself a short break to regenerate your emotional reactions to what’s going on around you.

Deep breathing is good for your body as well as your mind. According to Harvard Medical School, “it can slow the heartbeat and lower or stabilize blood pressure.”

The act of breathing is a simple concept, but actually getting ourselves to do it can be a challenge. Remember that even five minutes can be a nice break to recharge your batteries. (You can set a stopwatch or timer if you’d like to).

The concept of deep breathing is part of what we call mindfulness or staying present in our lives.

Psychology Today refers to mindfulness as “a state of active, open attention on the present. When you’re mindful, you observe your thoughts and feelings from a distance, without judging them good or bad. Instead of letting your life pass you by, mindfulness means living in the moment and awakening to experience.”

If you’d like to learn more, West Valley Counseling Center hosts a weekly Mindfulness Group. Check out our calendar to see when the next session is scheduled. We’d love for you to join us.

Remember that the staff at West Valley Counseling Center are always here to help, and to help you talk about it. West Valley Counseling Center is located at 19634 Ventura Blvd Suite 212, Tarzana, CA 91356. Phone us at (818) 758-9450, or email info@westvalleycounseling.org.

Written By Sharon Burnett, Ph.D., from WVCC

Holiday Stress

As we come to a full swing into the holiday season, many of us are preparing our shopping lists, getting baking supplies, decorating our homes, and getting to be a part of another festive season with our families and friends. However, for many of us, this can be a difficult time. Holidays can bring up many mixed emotions that can leave us wondering This is a happy time, I’m supposed to be happy, but I’m not or Why do I feel so alone at this holiday party with all these people? You are not alone in thinking this way. The holiday season can be a time when we have our most impactful memories because they evoke a great deal of different emotions within us.

Maybe this year you are having a difficult time because you are mourning the loss of a family member or loved one, maybe this year is hard because you have run into financial trouble, or perhaps this year is challenging for a number of different reasons. Regardless of your situation, it’s important to remember that it is ok to not be full of the holiday spirit and remember to not force yourself into pretending that everything is perfect if it’s not. There are many other people that are experiencing these struggles during this time of year. During this holiday season if you find yourself getting over-stressed or experiencing more depression than usual, try to take a step back and take care of yourself first.

Try these helpful hints for getting through the holiday season:

1.    Stop and Listen To Your Emotions: If you’re feeling sad or unhappy, ask yourself where is this coming from? Is something or someone making me upset? Am I making myself upset?  Whether you have an answer or not, ask yourself is there anything I can do improve my mood? Watching a movie with the family, going out to have a coffee break, or taking a walk around the park with the dog are a few examples of solutions that may ease any uncomfortable feelings.

2.    Take A Break: If you find yourself in a situation that is becoming too stressful, try to walk away from the situation and take a 15-minute break. Try either going into a room where you will not be disturbed or go outside and take a walk around your neighborhood. This can give us a chance to slow down and not get caught up in the heat of the moment.

3.    Remember Your Boundaries: If you are not comfortable with doing something your friends or family want to do, allow yourself to say “no”. It’s okay if you do not want to do what everyone else is doing. Sometimes we don’t get to do the thing we want to do during the holidays because we are so busy doing so much for others. You have the right to enjoy this holiday season the way you want to as well.

4.    Be Realistic: No one’s family is the “Brady Bunch” and things don’t always go as planned. Something may even be ruined in your opinion. It’s okay, life happens. This does not have to be the best or the perfect holiday season, but it should be one that brings you joy and only you can determine what that is.

We hope these tips will serve you well this holiday season!
From all of us here at the West Valley Counseling Center, we wish you the warmest and happiest of holiday seasons.

Written By Brendan Nierenberg, MFTI from WVCC
West Valley Counseling Center is located at 19634 Ventura Blvd. Suite 212 Tarzana, CA 91356

When Someone You Love Faces the Challenge of Mental Illness

It is very rare to meet a family that has not been touched by mental illness or psychiatric diagnosis.  It may be a history in the family; a story told about a great uncle who was said to be bi-polar (or manic depressive as they used to call it). Or it might be happening now; a teenager who is using cutting to manage his or her anxiety. Whatever it is, it can be scary, a little bit embarrassing, or overwhelming. There is a great deal of stigma around illness affecting the mind, the emotions and feelings.

Some of us are really struggling to make it through the day. We are sad and depressed, maybe having thoughts or feelings of suicide; we are very, very anxious, unable to concentrate and sure the beating heart we feel in our chest is a sign that we are dying; we use too many substances to soothe ourselves and develop an addiction or dependence; or we have diagnosed chronic illness which is affecting our lives and it just doesn’t seem worth it.  We are stressed and distressed.

What can we do if this is happening to someone we love? How do we talk to them? How can we relate? What do we do.

  1. The feelings mentioned above are very real. There doesn’t have to be a reason for them. Please take your loved one seriously.
  2. It’s not your friend or family member’s fault. Did you know that mental illness can sometimes be caused by medical conditions? Even a simple urinary tract infection can sometimes cause confusion or other symptoms.
  3. Don’t lecture, but don’t minimize their experience. They probably feel bad enough already. It seems like it’s okay to talk about it if someone is diagnosed with cancer, but we don’t talk about it if someone is diagnosed with a mental illness. People feel stigmatized when they are given this kind of diagnoses, sometimes they even feel ashamed.  You can help by being an advocate and providing support.
  4. Your family member or friend may need the help of a professional, just like a patient with pneumonia needs a medical professional. They don’t need advice from you, just as a person with pneumonia doesn’t need your advice. They have an illness, and may need professional help.
  5. You may feel like you have to “fix it.” You don’t! Listen and support instead. Please don’t tell the person to “get it together”, or to “get over it.” He or she needs support and compassion. Being there is the most important thing. Ask how you can help (though they may not be able to say), and ask how they are feeling.
  6. You may be afraid of what is happening. You may even be a little afraid of the person with the diagnosis. That is normal and makes sense. They are most likely scared too! They need your support. Mental and psychiatric illnesses are very common. If you want to understand more, read about their illness or ask questions to a reliable source like your doctor. The National Alliance on Mental Illness (www.nami.org) is an amazing resource with lots of information and resources.
  7. You are not alone! Psychiatric and mental illness is common. Support, listen, learn, and get help. (resource: www.nami.org)
  8. And lastly, don’t be afraid to Talk About It.  That is where healing and help begins, both for the person suffering with mental illness and those who are most impacted by their illness:  family, loved ones and friends.

 

Written By Elizabeth Bailey, RN

Marriage & Family Therapist Trainee at WVCC

West Valley Counseling Center is located at 19634 Ventura Blvd. Suite 212 Tarzana, CA 91356

For more information or to speak to one of our staff, please contact us at (818) 758-9450 or email us at info@westvalleycounseling.org