Caregivers, You Need Care, Too

If you’re an unpaid caregiver, you’re not alone. The CDC reports that in California, almost one in five people ages 45 and up reports being a regular caregiver to a friend or family member. And that number has gone up since the report was released.

Just because you’re not alone doesn’t mean it’s not lonely. Or exhausting. Or hard.

While caregiving can help improve your relationship with the care recipient, the data shows that it takes a toll. Polled caregivers say it has a negative impact on their emotional wellness, social life, job, and more.

You do so much for others. It’s time to do something for yourself. We have a few suggestions to help.

Learn about respite care

Respite care isn’t for your care recipient. It’s for you. It’s designed so you can take a break.

We want to underscore that. Getting rest is so important for caregivers that the medical field has created respite care to make sure they get it.

Respite care can take different forms. Sometimes, you pay for a care provider to come in for an allotted amount of time. In some cases, insurance might cover all or part of the cost.

But respite care doesn’t have to be a service you buy. The help of friends, family, and even volunteers can allow you to catch your breath.

In short: don’t be afraid to ask for help. Respite care is key in helping you sustain your ability to provide care over time. (We have more info about finding respite care in the “Get support” section below.)

Pause before you offer help

As a caregiver, you can fall into a cycle of giving, giving, and giving some more. Whenever someone, especially the person for whom you care, needs help, you might spring into action.

Your willingness to jump in is admirable. Over time, though, it can create a pattern. As your care recipient gets used to asking for things, they might request more and more. You get better at learning their little tells, and you might lend a hand before they even make a request.

That can lead to you doing more than you need, and your care recipient doing less than they’re able.

This isn’t to say that you should withhold your help. But try to build in a brief pause before you extend yourself. You may realize that you can redirect your efforts in some areas.

Recognize how much you’re doing

You probably have a sense that the care you provide is valuable. Ideally, your care recipient tells you so regularly. But you don’t have to take their word for it.

Recent research from the Leonard Davis Institute of Health Economics at Penn looked at this subject. They concluded that providing unpaid long-term care costs about $80,000. They arrived at that total by factoring in lost earnings and loss of job advancement while providing care, along with the other health and quality-of-life tolls.

That’s a pretty penny. We want to celebrate the value of what you do, and you should, too.

When things have value, they come at a cost. A more valuable car costs more. Simple, right? All too often, though, caregivers diminish what they’re doing for their care recipient. And in doing so, they downplay the cost to themselves.

We hope that realizing how valuable your care is ($80,000!) will help you see where it might be costing you. And where that cost may be too high. Is there something you really hate doing? That could be a great area to ask for help. Do you wish you just had one more hour in the day? Ask someone else to take over for a bit so you can get some of your time back.

Get support

The California Department of Aging has a Family Caregiver Support Program. It runs through local Area Agencies on Aging and can help you connect to respite care, plus support groups, training, and information about care and help with care planning.

You can tap into what’s available locally by calling (800) 510-2020 or reaching out to your local LA Area Agency on Aging.

Additionally, USC runs the LA Caregiver Resource Center. They provide almost 2,000 hours of respite care to local caregivers every three months.

Also, if you’re caring for someone with cancer, the National Cancer Institute has a book and booklet (a shortened version of the book) designed to help.

Finally, we’re here. Our therapists can come alongside you, helping with boundary setting, finding self-care practices that work for you, and more. To talk with our intake coordinator about which therapist might be right for you, contact us.