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As a parent, you want to protect and nurture your child. That often translates to a desire to make life as easy and comfortable for them as possible. That gets tricky when you notice that your child isn’t necessarily developing like the rest of their peers.

You might have wondered, “Is my child neurodivergent?” If that thought has crossed your mind, you’re in the right place to explore the question.

The basics of neurodivergence

When someone is described as neurodivergent, it simply means their brain works differently. Neurodivergence isn’t technically a medical term, and it’s certainly not a diagnosis. It’s an umbrella category people use to group a range of conditions together.

Some of the conditions that people most commonly classify as neurodivergence include:

• Autism spectrum disorder
• Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)
• Down syndrome
• Dyscalculia (trouble with math)
• Dyslexia (trouble with reading)
• Dyspraxia (trouble with coordination)
• Sensory processing disorders
• Tourette syndrome

Some people also put mental health conditions like obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) into this bucket, too.

Here’s the main thing you should know here: neurodivergence is not a disability. It just means their brain doesn’t work neurotypically.

Signs you might have a neurodivergent child

Before we get into indicators of neurodivergence, we want to remind you that every child develops differently. While certain milestones apply to the “average” child, they’re just that: averages. Some kids develop slower, some faster. Some kids learn motor skills more quickly, others are strong verbally but struggle physically.

That said, you might have noticed some indicators that your child’s brain seems to work differently. Some indicators people typically put under the category of neurodivergence include:

• Limited speech
• Difficulty maintaining eye contact
• Strong reactions to sounds, bright lights, certain fabrics, or other sensory stimuli
• Trouble in school, from paying attention to reading
• Challenges in regulating their emotions
• Anxiety in or avoidance of social situations

If all of that sounds familiar, don’t worry. For starters, neurodivergence often introduces its own strengths. Your child might have an easier time memorizing things or visualizing things in three dimensions.

Secondly, you don’t have to navigate this alone.

Next steps if you think your child is neurodivergent

If you think your child’s brain might function differently, start by talking with their primary care doctor. They can help you explore specific medical conditions, aligning the differences you’re noticing with symptoms.

If your child is in school, it also usually helps to talk to their teacher(s). Neurodivergence tends to make some aspects of school more challenging. Their teacher can help you identify supports your child might need.

Our team can also help. Our therapists work with kids and teens with ADHD, on the autism spectrum disorder, and who need help in school. We can come alongside your family to develop support systems for your child.

Along the way, remember: Neurodivergence isn’t a disability. It’s not even a diagnosis. It’s just an umbrella term used for someone whose brain doesn’t function neurotypically.

When it comes to your child, the most important thing is helping them get support for areas where they may be struggling. Whether that’s focusing in school, managing sensory stimuli, or navigating social situations, we can help. Contact our team today.

Your child has reached adulthood. Congratulations! That’s a major milestone. And it opens up a whole new world of opportunity.

Now that they’re a young adult, you can step out of some of your worries about raising them right. They’re raised. You might find it easier to enjoy your relationship now.

Or you might find it harder. Relinquishing the parent role can be challenging, and you and your new adult might butt heads.

We have a few tips to help you foster a healthy, enjoyable relationship with your young adult.

Remember that they’re an adult

Young adults want to find their footing. They’re in a season when their independence matters a lot. They want to feel like an adult, and having mom or dad playing parent doesn’t help.

You might not be totally sure where the line now falls, so don’t be afraid to ask. Before you offer an opinion, for example, you might ask if they actually want it. Respect their boundaries, and talk about them when you’re not sure how to proceed.

This is particularly important when your adult child still lives at home. Clear boundary-setting conversations help you respect each other and live harmoniously. It’s also your chance to share your own boundaries, like how you expect them to keep common areas clean.

Figure out their why

If your adult child’s decision-making makes you scratch your head, get curious. Instead of trying to get them to live life a specific way, ask what’s motivating them. Ask what they’re excited about. Inquire about their goals.

This is your opportunity to get to know your child as an adult. Understanding what drives them can help you better support them. And showing that you care in this way helps you bond.

Be someone they want to hang out with

Now that you’re shifting out of the parent-child roles, having a good relationship means something closer to being friends. And people generally want to be friends with folks who are interesting to them. Having your own interests and opinions and sharing them helps. It helps to live a full life outside of your child so you have plenty to share when you do hang out.

Be mindful of your adult child as you share. If you know you believe different things politically, for example, steer clear of those topics. Instead, try to find areas of shared interest so you can have stimulating conversations together.

Find things to enjoy together

Look for an activity to share.

If you’re wanting more time with your child, something you routinely do together builds that into your calendar. Plus, enjoying something together helps your relationship grow. You’ll find more things to talk about, and you might learn something new about your child. Just as importantly, they might discover some new things about you.

Some ideas to get you started:

• Take a pottery class
• Bake
• Hike
• Go to any kind of workout class
• Go to a movie
• Do an escape room
• Join a book club
• Go to trivia night
• Volunteer for a cause you both care about

If you’re stumped for inspiration, look to your child. What do they enjoy doing? Is it anything that might sound fun to you? Give it a shot.

Really, having a strong relationship with your adult child is all about holding space for them. Figure out what they want from your relationship, and go from there.

If your child’s vision of your connection doesn’t align with your own, therapy can help. Our therapists can come alongside you to give you tools to manage difficult conversations and relationship elements. Don’t hesitate to contact us.

When we talk about lifestyle interventions for mental health challenges, a healthy diet almost always comes up. What you put into your body has a direct impact on how you feel, not just physically but also mentally.

A growing body of research highlights just how important — and direct — the link is between your gut and your brain. We want to give you an overview of what researchers know now.

Meet your enteric nervous system

Your gut isn’t just your stomach. It encompasses the entire system that food goes through from the moment it enters your body via your mouth to when it leaves out the other side. Scientists call this your gastrointestinal (GI) tract.

Embedded within the lining of your GI tract, you have your enteric nervous system (ENS). It contains about 500 nerve cells. That makes the ENS the most complex neural network in your body apart from your brain.

So it’s not totally surprising that there’s a connection between functional bowel problems and mental health problems. People with irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) have triple the risk of anxiety and depression, for example.

For a long time, the medical field thought the brain contributed to digestive issues. But now they think the reverse might also be true. Problems in your gut can send signals to your brain that affect your mood.

Your gut and your brain: A two-way street

Your gut and your brain communicate, and you experience the results of this on a daily basis. When you eat enough, signals go to your brain, and your brain tells you that you’re full. But that gut-brain connection extends well beyond digestion.

Researchers have linked the gut-brain axis to impacts on your:

• Mood
• Behavior
• Stress levels
• Cognitive function

In other words, your gut plays a role in not just how you feel physically, but how you feel mentally.

Specifically, when your gut isn’t functioning like it should, it impacts how your body produces certain chemicals. You might make less serotonin, which helps with regulating both your digestion and your mood. Or you might produce less dopamine, which impacts reward and motivation and how the muscles in your GI tract work. Together, dopamine and serotonin often get called happy chemicals. Less of them can cause mental health challenges or make them worse.

Nurturing your brain-gut axis to nurture your mental health

So, what does all of this mean for you? For starters, it means you should double down on your efforts to eat a healthy, balanced diet. If you’re not feeling well mentally, being mindful about what you eat can help.

Specifically, you can choose foods and drinks that support a healthy gut microbiome. A handful of studies have linked more probiotic intake to reduced symptoms of anxiety and depression. Good options to add here include:

• Colorful fruits and veggies (they contain polyphenols, which act as prebiotics)
• Fatty fish
• Fermented foods like yogurt with live cultures, sauerkraut, and kimchi
• Fermented drinks like kombucha
• Foods with a lot of fiber

Overall, you want to aim for a diet that primarily consists of whole foods (i.e., food that’s not processed) and contains a lot of plants. This works to minimize inflammation in your gut, which helps it function like it should.

 

What you eat is a big piece of the mental wellness puzzle. But it’s only one component. If modifying your diet doesn’t help you feel better, come talk with our team. Our therapists offer support for mental health challenges including anxiety and depression.

Call our intake coordinator to explore what we can do for you.

The evidence is conclusive.

Too much screen time in kids and teens correlates with an uptick in anxiety, depression, hyperactivity, and aggressive behaviors. Per one study, the more TV time kids got early in life, the more likely they were to struggle with class participation and math. Social media is so connected to mental health challenges that the U.S. Surgeon General has issued an advisory about it and Australia has outright banned it for teens under 16.

On top of all of the mental and emotional challenges that can come with it, screen time is hard on young bodies. Looking down at a screen can hurt their neck and strain their eyes. Teens who get a lot of screen time also tend to get insufficient physical activity and struggle with excess weight and sleep problems.

As a parent, you can take steps to protect your family from all of these risks. We have a few suggestions to help you establish healthier habits around screen time.

#1: Encourage their non-screen-based hobbies

If you’re worried your child or teen spends too much time looking at a screen, help them find healthy alternatives. The right place to start depends on your child/teen’s current interests.

If you already know about something they enjoy, lean into it. That might mean creating a space in your house where they can practice their instrument or do their art, or offering to drive them to pick-up league games.

If you’re not sure about anything existing that you can support, it’s time to help your teen or child explore areas with potential. The experts at the Johns Hopkins Center for Talented Youth have some tips your family can apply here.

#2: Find offline things to do together

Make non-screen time something you do as a family. Enjoying an activity together builds healthy family bonds. These can counterbalance a lot of the challenges that come with living in a digital age.

Here are a few ideas to get you started:

• Family walks (particularly if you have a dog)
• Cooking dinner together or baking
• Hiking
• Going thrift shopping
• Playing tabletop or card games
• Doing a puzzle
• Gardening
• Family book club

Try different things until you find something that all of you like doing together.

#3: Communicate about healthy screen use

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) used to recommend a certain ceiling on screen time (one hour a day for kids 2–12, two hours for teens). In 2016, though, they did away with those hard and fast rules. Instead, the AAP “recommend[s] considering the quality of interactions with digital media and not just the quantity, or amount of time.”

Talk with your kids and teens about how they use their screens — and how they want to use them.

It might be helpful to come alongside them to get a better idea of what they’re consuming from their screens. Co-viewing a show they like or watching them play a favorite video game should give you clarity. Then, you have an easy opening to talk about what’s healthy to be engaging with on a regular basis (e.g., avoiding excess violence).

As you’re talking about healthy screen use, you might also explore a digital detox together.

#4: Decide on rules together

Everyone chafes at rules that don’t make sense to them. Kids and teens are no exception. So work on setting rules together.

You might ask:

• How much screen time feels fair on weekends? What about school days?
• How do you want me to remind you that you’re out of screen time?
• What should the consequences of going over be?
• Do we want to establish any windows as tech-free times?
• Do you want to have any ways to earn screen time?
• Does using social media ever make you feel sad, anxious, or less than?
• Do you think I should let you watch/play things above your age limit (e.g., watching PG-13 movies for preteens)? If so, why?

Establish the rules together, and find a way to keep them visible for all of you.

#5: Model healthy habits

Your kids and teens are watching you. That gives you the opportunity to showcase healthy habits. When your child comes up to talk to you, put your phone away so you can engage with them. Be mindful of how much they see you sitting and scrolling. You might even say things like, “My eyes feel tired so I’m going to take a break.”

If you need some support to reduce your own phone time, we have a few suggestions teed up for you.

 

For most parents, managing screen time is an ongoing project. It changes as your child matures. It can get increasingly difficult as they get their own device and more autonomy.

Whatever phase your family is in, you don’t have to navigate this alone. For support in figuring out how to set healthy rules or communicate guidelines, you can see a therapist yourself. If this is a real sticking point in your household, doing some family sessions with your child or teen can help, too.

To explore using therapy to help your family establish healthier screen engagement, contact us.

In recent years, quite a bit of work has happened to help kids with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). A lot of young people have come up through school at a time when teachers and parents knew to watch for symptoms. The resulting support has been life-changing for many of them.

But what about those who missed the boat, so to speak? Maybe your symptoms didn’t get caught in childhood or you went through school before ADHD awareness spread. ADHD is a lifelong condition, which means it could be affecting your focus, emotional regulation, and other key parts of your life today.

The trick is that ADHD doesn’t always present the same way in adults. The signs might be more subtle. Still, if you’re living with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, getting diagnosed and starting treatment has the potential to transform your life. To help you decide if you should talk with a healthcare professional about this, let’s look at some of the common symptoms of ADHD in adulthood.

How ADHD looks different in adults

Hyperactivity is often the telltale symptom of ADHD in kids. In adults, though, that hyperactivity often doesn’t present overtly. Even if you never got treatment in childhood, you might have learned to manage or mask this symptom. With ADHD in adulthood, this often looks like a pervasive restlessness.

You might be physically fidgety, but you might also confine this restlessness to your inner world. Many adults with ADHD regularly deal with racing thoughts.

Adults also have more agency than kids, which can make their ADHD symptoms visible in their life choices. Partially due to the busy mind that often comes with this condition, you might make impulsive decisions — including risky ones.

Difficulty with time management also has a larger impact on adults with ADHD than on kids. This condition can cause something called time blindness, which makes it hard to manage everything from deadlines at work to commitments with friends and family.

You should also know that ADHD has different types. Some adults have hyperactive-impulsive presentation, which more closely mirrors what most people think of ADHD. But you can also have inattentive presentation. This affects your focus and attention. You might have trouble staying organized and on task, lose things often, and regularly forget things. In kids, this can be troublesome. As an adult, inattentive-type ADHD can take a serious toll on your ability to manage your career and daily life.

Getting treatment for ADHD in adulthood

If all of this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) estimate that about 6% of adults in the US have ADHD.

You can self-screen to see if it’s worth seeking out care. Mental Health America has an online test for ADHD designed for adults to use themselves. You can also access the more technical Adult ADHD Self-Report Scale (ASRS-v1.1) that mental health pros use. You can self-score with this tool, but you’ll want to complete it again with a trained mental health professional to get a more accurate score.

If these tests indicate that you might have ADHD, seek out support. Getting diagnosed allows you to work with an expert to develop a personalized treatment plan. That usually means a combination of medication and therapy. Finding treatment that works for you can make your life notably easier.

We’re here to help. Our team can screen you for ADHD, then come alongside you to find the right treatment for you. Contact us to get started with a therapist with experience in ADHD today.

Here at the West Valley Counseling Center, we’re winding down our year. As we leave our offices and head out to enjoy the holiday season, we want to say thank you. Whether you’re a patient or someone who reads our blogs, your interest in mental health is moving the needle.

The stigma around mental health conditions has started to lift (see here and here for evidence). Because you care about this important part of overall wellness, you’re a part of that change. As we thought about what we were thankful for this Thanksgiving, the groundswell of support for increased mental health awareness and care ranked high on our list.

Thanksgiving might be over, but the holiday season is still in full swing. It can be a beautiful time of year, but it can also be a challenging one. We want to share a few tips to help you manage some common difficulties that crop up during this time of year.

Self-care suggestions for the holidays

Everything from your family dynamics to your budget can impact how you feel during this time of year. Still, some challenges seem to affect lots of us during this season. To help you manage them, we gathered up some tips:

• Monitor your stress level throughout December. If you’re feeling tense or anxious, take some proactive steps to protect yourself.
• Put some time on your calendar that you use to do what you enjoy about the holiday season (e.g., walking around and looking at lights, seeing The Nutcracker). Before you make other plans this December, always check your calendar and protect that time for yourself.
• Stick with the parts of your routine that feel healthy. Make it a priority to get enough sleep, exercise regularly, and eat nutritious foods — even if that means saying no to some things.
• If you have difficult family dynamics, make a plan for yourself before you go to any holiday events. You might work on internal boundary setting, or you might script responses to difficult questions you routinely get asked (like when you’re going to start dating or having kids).
• Mind your budget. Overspending during this holiday season means heading into the new year stretched thin. Handmade gifts can mean a lot and help you save money.

We have a guide from a few years back that offers some additional guidance to help you protect yourself and the people you love this holiday season.

We wish you the best during this time of year

This time of year comes with its fair share of difficulties. It also invites us to slow down and drop into the moment with the people who matter most to us (including ourselves!).

To take advantage of that, we’re going to take a little break from blogging. We’ll be back in mid-January.

We hope you find similar ways to lean into the good parts of the holiday season. Take care of yourself. You deserve the gift of doing what you enjoy and protecting yourself from excess stress.

If you want help navigating the difficulties that come with this time of year or you want to get set up to start 2026 with support, we’re here. Contact our team to explore starting therapy.

Life can be more difficult for people living on the autism spectrum. Understanding social cues can be challenging, and communication might feel extra burdensome. Hypersensitivity can make situations overwhelming. And layered on top of all of this, people with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) often face mental health conditions.

That’s not great news on the surface. But as with many areas of ASD, awareness is a key first step.

Connecting ASD and mental health conditions

While estimates vary, experts across the board agree that people living on the spectrum have a higher likelihood of another diagnosis: a mental health condition.

By one estimate, as many as 70% of autistic people have a mental health condition. 40% of those folks have more than one mental health challenge at play.

By another, the estimate ranges all the way up to 94%.

(For reference, only about 20% of the general population lives with a mental health condition.)

The data also says that a range of mental health challenges can affect kids and teens with ASD. Those include:

• Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) (35.3%)
• Anxiety (17.1%)
• Depression (7.5%)
• Bipolar disorder (7.8%)

In short, if you’re on the spectrum and you’re dealing with mental health challenges, you’re certainly not alone.

If someone you love has ASD and you’ve noticed the signs of mental health difficulties, don’t dismiss them. The high likelihood that they’re living with a mental health condition means you should get involved to get them the care they need.

It’s serious: Suicidal ideation for kids and teens on the spectrum

Last month, The LA Times published an article underscoring the importance of paying attention here. Some key takeaways include:

• Autistic people are more likely to die from suicide, per one study, and 20% of kids and teens with ASD had ideated suicide.
• Another study reported that kids with ASD ideate suicide younger, starting before eight years old in about a third of kids.
• Data from a 2023 meta-analysis showed that 10% of kids and teens with ASD had attempted suicide, double that of their non-ASD peers.
• A higher cognitive ability connects to a higher likelihood of suicidal ideation in youth on the spectrum, per another study.

Then, the article pivots to helping families and caregivers protect autistic kids and teens.

For starters, it encourages you to ask directly about suicide if you’re concerned. Choose your child or teen’s preferred communication method (a letter might be better, for example). But don’t worry that asking will “plant” the idea in their head. Directly asking provides a core measure of protection, researchers say.

Additionally, you should watch for different warning signs than in neurotypical kids and teens. Those include:

• Sudden or increased withdrawal
• No words to communicate acute distress
• A current traumatic event, reported by self or others
• Marked increase in rate and/or severity of self-harm
• Worsening in levels of symptoms of anxiety and/or depression
• A new focus on suicidal talk, ideation, or death-related topics that are not a special interest
• Perseverative suicidal thoughts and ruminations
• Seeking means or making plans for suicide or suicide rehearsal
• Statements about no reason for living or no sense of purpose in life
• Hopelessness

Experts are working on better ways to screen for mental health challenges in neurodivergent youth. In the meantime, though, watching your child and teen and communicating in their preferred methods goes a long way.

You also don’t need to navigate this alone. Our team offers care for neurodivergent people and their family members. Therapy can help your autistic child or teen manage their mental health challenges, lowering their risk of suicidal ideation. For support, contact us today.

By Rachel Lee, Pre-Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

Most of us have to work. Unfortunately, this necessity of life can introduce a range of stressors. To help you manage them, we tapped Rachel Lee, one of our team members with experience in this area.

Here are Rachel’s seven takeaways about work. If you’re feeling burdened by tension around your job, #7 holds particular power for you.

1. Work is one of the top sources of stress for adults

According to the American Psychological Association, work consistently ranks as a leading stressor for U.S. adults. Many people report significant stress related to workload, unclear expectations, or lack of support. This often shows up in therapy as anxiety, irritability, trouble sleeping, or emotional exhaustion.

2. Burnout is a systemic issue, not a personal weakness

The World Health Organization defines burnout as a workplace phenomenon tied to chronic stress, not an individual flaw. People often internalize blame when the real issue is unrealistic expectations, unclear roles, or workplace cultures that make recovery nearly impossible.

3. Certain groups face heightened pressure

Women, working parents, and first-generation professionals frequently describe unique stressors:

• Women often carry emotional labor at work.
• Parents (especially mothers) feel pressure during return-to-work transitions.
• First-gen professionals often feel heightened pressure to prove themselves, which can intensify anxiety or self-doubt.

4. Imposter feelings are extremely common, especially during transitions

Up to 70% of people experience imposter feelings at some point. These feelings often surface during job changes, promotions, layoffs, or other major transitions.

Imposter feelings aren’t a diagnosis. They’re a normal reaction to new expectations, ambiguity, and lack of supportive mentorship.

5. Stress often shows up physically before people identify it emotionally

Clients commonly report early signs like:

• Sleep issues
• Headaches
• Difficulty focusing
• Irritability
• A sense of “not feeling like myself”

These symptoms often appear before someone recognizes the emotional or workplace component.

6. Today’s job market is amplifying anxiety for many people

The current job market is unpredictable across industries, and many people are navigating layoffs, hiring freezes, or long job searches. To compound the issue, being let go can trigger shame, fear, or identity loss. Then, struggling to land a new role can lead to prolonged anxiety and exhaustion, even for highly skilled professionals.

7. Therapy can help even when there’s no crisis.

Many people come to therapy because they want more balance, clearer boundaries, support navigating office dynamics, or help managing stress before it escalates. Therapy provides a space to understand patterns and build practical tools that support long-term well-being.

If any of these insights about work-related stress resonated with you, you could probably benefit from talking with our team. We offer career counseling if you’re trying to find your path, tools for boundary-setting, and any other support you need to manage your job, joblessness, or anything else related to work. Contact us and our intake coordinator can help you connect to one of our therapists.

Fatherhood can be one of the most rewarding, joyful experiences of your life. It can also be one of the most challenging. At our upcoming program, Dad Strength, we want to hold space for men to explore all of the beauties and complexities that come with having a child.

Whether you’re out on paternal leave with an infant at home, navigating through a teenager who’s bringing new challenges in your household, or trying to understand our roles as parents, we invite you to join us. At three sessions in December, we’ll be getting together to talk, process, and build connections with other fathers. If you’re looking for some support as you navigate parenthood, stress, identity, and relationships, you’re in the right place.

The goals of Dad Strength

We created Dad Strength with the goal of helping fathers clarify who they want to be in their roles as caregivers, partners, and men. We want to make space to explore the strengths you already have, along with the stories you’ve inherited about fatherhood.

We know that fathers face plenty of challenges. There’s the burden to provide for your family and the expectation to be a pillar of strength even in the midst of the messiness of family life. Layer on the little-known conditions of paternal postpartum depression and anxiety, which affect one in 10 men.

Plus, if you’re still in partnership with the mother, you have to contend with all of the ways parenting changes your relationship. Dads are more likely to feel judged by their partner for how they parent than moms, for example.

And if you’re a single dad, that comes with a wealth of its own challenges, too.

Fortunately, you don’t have to figure any of this out alone. By getting together with other men, you can first learn that you’re not alone in your experience of fatherhood. While your family dynamics are undoubtedly unique, you probably have many of the same concerns, celebrations, and challenges as other dads.

In fostering the connection between fathers, we make it easier to explore support mechanisms for you and your family. You might go home and try something another dad said worked for him.

Ultimately, we want to help each man move toward a more grounded, intentional connection with the people they care about.

Join Dad Strength

We’re holding three hour-long sessions throughout December as part of a singular program. On Mondays from 5 to 6 p.m., we’ll be at our sister campus, the Ventura Counseling and Wellness Center (950 County Square Drive, Unit 111 in Ventura).

Dad Strength falls on:

• December 1
• December 8
• December 15

Each session costs $25.

For more information or to sign up, contact Eric at (805) 620-8046 or eric.vcwc@gmail.com.

This is just one way our team wants to support fathers. If you think you’d benefit from one-on-one support, we can connect you to a therapist who fits your needs. We also offer family counseling if you want to come in with your partner, child, or as a family unit. Don’t hesitate to contact us.