New Parents, Do You Need Some Extra Support?

In theory, welcoming your long-awaited little one marks one of the most special seasons of your life. In reality, a lot of new parents feel scared and overwhelmed as they adjust to taking care of a newborn. Your life transforms overnight, and it’s completely normal to feel a lot of emotions — even contradictory ones — about it.

Give yourself some time and a whole lot of grace. Even if this isn’t your first kid, every new baby brings new challenges.

Sometimes, you might want to call in a little extra support to help you navigate the path ahead.

Signs new parents need extra support

Experts call the 12 weeks after your baby is born the fourth trimester. They’ve given it this name to indicate that this is still an important time for your family’s growth. The physical and emotional adjustments for everyone in your household warrant care and attention.

Most people (four in five, per some experts) experience the baby blues after giving birth. You might not feel like yourself. Impatience, sadness, and difficulty concentrating are all hallmarks of the baby blues.

Keep an eye on how you’re doing, though. It should lift within a couple of weeks if it really is the baby blues. If it’s been weeks and you’re still feeling off, it could be postpartum depression (PPD). About one in eight women experience PPD, and this issue affects one in ten men, too.

Some signs you might have more than the baby blues include the following:

• You feel lonely.
• You’re concerned or feel guilty that you’re not bonding with your baby like you should.
• You cry a lot.
• You’re not sleeping even when the baby sleeps.
• You’ve having more conflict with your co-parent.
• You feel like you need to be perfect.
• Your tiredness feels overwhelming.
• You want to withdraw from the people in your life.
• You’re often frustrated, irritated, or angry.
• You have less interest in things you used to care about before.
• You’re experiencing sleep and appetite changes.

On top of postpartum depression, new parents can experience other mental health challenges like postpartum anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), too.

How to ask for help as a new parent

If any of the above sounded familiar, you would benefit from extra support. Fortunately, you have a few options here:

Support for daily tasks

Finding ways to make your life easier can in turn make your mental health symptoms feel more manageable. When you’re not feeling your best, though, even basic to-dos can feel super overwhelming.

If you have friends or family asking to help but you’re not sure how to plug them in, start keeping a list. Write down all the to-dos you wish you could tackle but don’t have time or energy. You might keep this as a note in your phone so you can add to it whenever something comes to mind.

Having actionable items you can delegate to your support network makes it easier to get the help you need. If you feel awkward assigning tasks, you can even send them the note or a photo of your list. Then, simply ask if there’s anything on there they want to jump on.

Support in your relationship

Open lines of communication make a huge difference for new parents. If you have a co-parent, be as honest as you can be about what you’re feeling.

They might not necessarily know how to help, so be ready with specific asks. Going back to your list of to-dos can help here. For new parents who are struggling, asking your co-parent to take the baby for a couple of hours can give you the chance to catch your breath.

Let your partner support you. It might not feel “fair” to ask them to do night duty, but if you’re struggling, you need a good night’s sleep. Openly sharing your challenges helps your partner better understand what you need.

Professional support

Your friends, family, and/or co-parent probably don’t have extensive experience navigating the difficulties that come with being a new parent. We do.

Here at the West Valley Counseling Center, our therapists can come alongside you. We provide a safe, judgment-free space to talk about what you’re feeling. We also work with you to develop coping mechanisms, including language you can use to ask for help from the people in your life.

You don’t have to face this challenging season on your own. To get set up with support through therapy, contact us.