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Fatherhood can be one of the most rewarding, joyful experiences of your life. It can also be one of the most challenging. At our upcoming program, Dad Strength, we want to hold space for men to explore all of the beauties and complexities that come with having a child.

Whether you’re out on paternal leave with an infant at home, navigating through a teenager who’s bringing new challenges in your household, or trying to understand our roles as parents, we invite you to join us. At three sessions in December, we’ll be getting together to talk, process, and build connections with other fathers. If you’re looking for some support as you navigate parenthood, stress, identity, and relationships, you’re in the right place.

The goals of Dad Strength

We created Dad Strength with the goal of helping fathers clarify who they want to be in their roles as caregivers, partners, and men. We want to make space to explore the strengths you already have, along with the stories you’ve inherited about fatherhood.

We know that fathers face plenty of challenges. There’s the burden to provide for your family and the expectation to be a pillar of strength even in the midst of the messiness of family life. Layer on the little-known conditions of paternal postpartum depression and anxiety, which affect one in 10 men.

Plus, if you’re still in partnership with the mother, you have to contend with all of the ways parenting changes your relationship. Dads are more likely to feel judged by their partner for how they parent than moms, for example.

And if you’re a single dad, that comes with a wealth of its own challenges, too.

Fortunately, you don’t have to figure any of this out alone. By getting together with other men, you can first learn that you’re not alone in your experience of fatherhood. While your family dynamics are undoubtedly unique, you probably have many of the same concerns, celebrations, and challenges as other dads.

In fostering the connection between fathers, we make it easier to explore support mechanisms for you and your family. You might go home and try something another dad said worked for him.

Ultimately, we want to help each man move toward a more grounded, intentional connection with the people they care about.

Join Dad Strength

We’re holding three hour-long sessions throughout December as part of a singular program. On Mondays from 5 to 6 p.m., we’ll be at our sister campus, the Ventura Counseling and Wellness Center (950 County Square Drive, Unit 111 in Ventura).

Dad Strength falls on:

• December 1
• December 8
• December 15

Each session costs $25.

For more information or to sign up, contact Eric at (805) 620-8046 or eric.vcwc@gmail.com.

This is just one way our team wants to support fathers. If you think you’d benefit from one-on-one support, we can connect you to a therapist who fits your needs. We also offer family counseling if you want to come in with your partner, child, or as a family unit. Don’t hesitate to contact us.

By Em McElroy, Marriage and Family Therapist Trainee

Music has always been a constant in my life — a fellow companion during moments of anger, grief, heartache, joy, and everything in between. I’ve turned to music to make sense of feelings I couldn’t quite name and to find comfort when words felt too small.

Over time, I came to understand that music doesn’t just accompany our emotions. It helps us feel them more deeply, process and move through them, and sometimes transform them.

As a therapist, my lifelong connection to music naturally became part of how I understand the world, and how I strive to support others. The same qualities that make music so moving make it a powerful tool for healing: the rhythm, bass vibration, melodies, lyrics, and ability to bypass the analytical mind and tap into emotions.

The therapeutic benefits of music

Music has a profound effect on the brain and body. Research shows that it can lower stress hormones, reduce anxiety, and improve overall mood. But beyond science, many people intuitively feel music’s ability to shift emotional states. It can do everything from mobilizing us when we have low energy to soothing us when we’re overwhelmed.

Listening to or creating music engages the nervous system in a regulating way. The rhythm of a song can slow a racing heart, while melody and harmony can evoke feelings of safety and connection. For those who find it difficult to express emotions through words, music offers another language — one that speaks directly to the body and heart.

Shared musical experiences, whether listening together or creating sound as a group, can also build a sense of belonging and community. There’s something profoundly healing about feeling “in sync” with others.

How I use music therapy

In therapy, music can take many forms.

It might be as simple as bringing in and exploring a song that resonates with a client’s story, or using music to help regulate the nervous system. We might build personalized playlists to support emotional regulation or grounding between sessions, or listen to songs together in-session and discuss, if it feels right.

Sometimes, music can express what’s difficult to say aloud. You don’t need to be a musician for music to be therapeutic. You only need curiosity and willingness to listen, both inwardly and outwardly.

For many clients, these musical explorations can open access to deeper emotional layers, bringing forward memories, insights, and sensations that can be processed with direct support.

Looking ahead: Music therapy groups

In the near future, we’ll be offering expressive arts and music-focused therapy groups designed to bring people together in creative, mindful, and embodied ways. These groups will blend somatic awareness, mindfulness, and expressiveness. Our goal is to offer a safe space for connection, release, and play.

Some offerings in development include:

• Therapeutic Music Listening Circles, exploring emotion, connection, stories, and histories through music and sound.
• Vocal Expression, Mindful Movement, & Nervous System Regulation Workshops, reconnecting with the voice and body through music, as a grounding, liberating tool.

To learn more or to get started with music therapy for yourself, contact our team.

Maybe you’ve been thinking about getting some mental health support. It can be a bit of a tricky situation, though. The reason you’re seeking help might be an obstacle to getting it. You might feel anxious about your first appointment, even if you’re seeking guidance on managing anxiety. Or depression can make it hard to muster up the motivation to take the first step to find a therapist.

A lot of people benefit from a little nudge to get started with therapy. Just telling someone to search “therapy near me” online isn’t very helpful. If you’ve felt overwhelmed with the early steps required to get mental health support, you’re in the right place. Our team developed a few actionable tips that can help you get over that hurdle.

#1: Explore your options

Like most kinds of medical care, therapy comes in a lot of different forms. You can get cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which focuses on helping you unlearn negative thought patterns. A lot of talk therapy (what you probably picture when you think of going to therapy) uses CBT.

But that’s not your only option. You can also explore alternative mental health support like art therapy or group sessions. If you’re looking for support with a specific relationship, you might benefit from couples counseling or interpersonal therapy. If you’re struggling at work or with finding work, career counseling is probably a really good fit.

If you want to do a deeper dive into any of the types of therapy available to you, Psychology Today has thorough starter guides you can use.

Here, it helps to think about the kind of help you want. Do you want to break a pattern that’s hurting you, or get help navigating your relationship with a particular person or group of people? What’s your goal for therapy?

Once you know that, talk to a mental health pro. They can help match you with the right kind of care. Our intake coordinator, for example, is available to offer this kind of guidance. You can reach us at (818) 758-9450 or info@westvalleycounseling.org to get started.

#2: Learn what to expect

Fear of the unknown is a big and common obstacle to starting therapy. To help alleviate that, we have a guide that covers what to expect at your first appointment.

From there, your therapist will tailor a treatment plan to you. They’ll recommend a specific cadence for your appointments (e.g., weekly, bi-weekly). They might suggest additional tools you can do during sessions or on your own, like art therapy or body work (i.e., somatic therapy). You’ll get a much clearer idea of what therapy will look like for you after you meet with your therapist a few times.

It can also be helpful to know that you won’t necessarily be in therapy forever. The American Psychological Association says that about half of people get the relief they’re seeking with about 15–20 sessions.

#3: If at first you don’t succeed…

Finding a therapist is a little like dating. You might not click with the first person you meet. It takes work to find the right connection, but most people report it’s definitely worth it.

If you have a few sessions with your therapist and it’s not working for you, don’t be afraid to part ways and try someone else.

That doesn’t mean you need to go back to the drawing board of googling “therapy near me.” At the West Valley Counseling Center, we have multiple therapists on staff so we can rematch you with someone else who might be a better fit.

We’re here to help you navigate all of this. For support in getting started with therapy, call us, email us, or use our online form to request a call back whenever you’re ready.

Starting therapy on your own can feel daunting. When you’re diving in as a couple, it’s different. On the one hand, you have the support of your partner. On the other, most couples don’t start counseling because things are peachy. You might feel nervous about surfacing your challenges in front of a therapist, or about what your partner will say during sessions.

That’s completely normal and understandable. Starting couples’ counseling in the San Fernando Valley or anywhere else means coming up against a lot of unknowns. It doesn’t have to be a total mystery, though.

While what happens in your sessions largely depends on you and your partner, there are some basic foundations in place. Knowing about those eliminates some of the fear of the unknown, which can help you feel more comfortable as you get started.

Setting expectations for couples’ counseling

First, if you’re feeling any guilt and shame about starting couples’ counseling, we want to help you release that. It’s normal and even good to have some conflict in your relationship. You and your partner aren’t the same person, and it’s healthy to have your own wants and needs. By deciding to start couples’ counseling in San Fernando Valley, you’re putting yourself in a position to get extra tools to support yourself, your partner, and your relationship.

Secondly, you can come in feeling confident that couples’ counseling has a proven, data-backed track record of success. By creating space for you and your partner to talk about what’s bothering you, you have the opportunity to break patterns that have been burdening your relationship.

Third, what happens during couples’ counseling is totally up to you and your partner. You don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to, and you don’t have to explore any difficulties before you feel ready. Your therapist is there to walk alongside the two of you, supporting you along the way rather than pushing you in any specific direction.

What happens at your first couples’ counseling session

The first couples’ counseling session isn’t so different from a first appointment if you’re starting therapy on your own. The main goal is for your therapist to learn about you and why you’re starting counseling.

Your first session, then, often centers around you and your partner telling your therapist the story of how you met. They’ll want to hear more than just the problems that brought you in. Understanding your relationship history, your patterns, and other pieces of context helps them personalize a couples’ counseling plan to you and your partner.

Tailoring your San Fernando Valley couples’ counseling to you

There’s no “normal” way to do couples’ counseling. It’s all about finding what’s best for you and your partner.

Sometimes, both couples always come in to meet with the therapist together. Other times, one partner isn’t ready to start therapy and the other partner starts on their own. In some situations, the couple meets with the therapist together some days, and individually on others. The format really depends on what works best for where you’re at right now. And it can be changed if your needs change as you move forward.

During couples’ counseling with our team, you’ll also get resources you can use (your therapist might call this your “relationship toolbox”). You’ll learn new ways to listen and respond to your partner. Your therapist might even give you take-home exercises so you can practice between sessions.

Ideally, you won’t be in couples’ counseling forever. On average, couples usually attend about 12 sessions, although the right duration totally depends on your specific situation.

If you’re ready to get started with San Fernando Valley couples’ counseling, contact our team. Our intake coordinator can help to pair you with the right therapist from our team for your specific needs and goals. In your first appointment with them, they’ll learn about you and you’ll then learn what they recommend as a plan for supporting your relationship.

If you’re about to get started with therapy for the first time, you’re probably wondering how it’s going to go. Will your first appointment be like your first visit with a new doctor, or will it feel more like a job interview or talking to a friend? How will you know if your therapist is a good fit for you?

Fear of the unknown keeps a lot of us from doing things we’re curious about. So that fear doesn’t keep you from your first appointment, we want to help clear up some of that uncertainty. Let’s walk through what usually happens at your first therapy appointment with our team here in the San Fernando Valley.

Introduction

The first part of your therapy appointment should be pretty easy. We have a waiting room where you can (ideally) relax beforehand. Once it’s time for your appointment, your therapist will come find you in the waiting area.

They’ll show you into their office and invite you to take a seat. We’ve designed our offices to be comfortable spaces. Feel free to adjust any pillows or anything else you need to feel good while you’re sitting there.

Once you’re settled, your therapist starts by introducing themselves. They won’t tell you personal details in their life (healthy boundaries are important in therapy), but they might tell you a little bit about their background in mental healthcare.

The bulk of your first therapy appointment isn’t about your therapist, though. It’s about you.

Learning more about you

Your first appointment functions as a sort of intake session. Your therapist wants to use this time to learn how they can potentially help you.

Therapists’ techniques and approaches differ, but almost all of them will ask the same question during a first appointment: What brings you to therapy? Be as honest as you feel comfortable here. The more you’re willing to share with your therapist, the better they can tailor a treatment plan to you.

To dig deeper into your reason for seeking out therapy, your new therapist will ask you about yourself. They might ask you to give them a brief autobiography, or to tell them about your dynamic with your family. They’ll usually ask if you have any experience with therapy in the past and, if so, what that’s been like.

The first therapy appointment is an exploratory session for both the therapist and you. By the end of your appointment, your therapist should provide you with a broad outline of what you two might work on together. In addition to talk therapy, for example, they might recommend options like art therapy or group sessions.

Finding the right therapist in the San Fernando Valley

By the end of your appointment, you should also have a sense for how you feel about that therapist. It usually takes a few sessions to build a rapport. But if you can tell right away that it’s not a fit, that’s totally fine. Get in touch with our intake coordinator (the person you initially spoke to in order to get started) and we can connect you with a different therapist.

Some people report that their first therapy appointment was easy and relatively surface level. Others go deep right away. If you leave that session feeling drained, know that that’s totally normal. Sharing about yourself — especially the more vulnerable parts of your life — can require a lot emotionally. We recommend holding some time after your first appointment for self-care just in case you need it.

If you come into your first appointment with a goal for therapy, our team is here to help you move toward it. That initial conversation with the first therapist you try might help you make progress. Or it might tell you more about what works for you and what doesn’t, and we can help you pivot accordingly.

If you haven’t scheduled your first therapy appointment yet but you want to, don’t hesitate to get in touch. Our team here in the San Fernando Valley is ready to help you get started.

If you’re ready to start seeing a therapist, you have options. Lots of different mental health professionals exist offering lots of different specialties. A simple internet search of “therapy near me” will turn up plenty of results in the San Fernando Valley. You’re not limited geographically, either. You also have the choice of seeing your therapist online.

Sitting in a room with someone can be helpful in certain situations, but virtual therapy offers some benefits. To help you find the right path for yourself and what you want to get out of therapy, let’s compare the pros and cons.

The pros and cons of virtual therapy

A lot of big companies now offer online therapy all over the country. That comes with some benefits, but there are also some drawbacks you should know about.

Pros:

Virtual therapy comes with two big upsides:

• Convenience: With online therapy, you only need to carve an hour out of your day. You don’t need to account for any travel time to or from an office, and you can even take the call in your PJ bottoms if you feel more comfortable that way.  
• Lots of choices: If you search “therapy near me,” you’ll turn up dozens of options. If you go the online route, though, you’ll have thousands of therapists from which to choose.

 

Cons:

There are some downsides of choosing online therapy. Those include:

• More time in front of a computer: In our digital era, a lot of people have Zoom fatigue. Choosing virtual therapy means adding another hour of sitting in front of a screen. 
• Less privacy at home: If your living situation makes it hard to get a quiet area alone, it can make therapy harder. You want to be able to fully open up during your sessions. That can be difficult if you’re worried someone might overhear or you’ve got a child who’s prone to barging in.

• Less information for your therapist to use: Body language says a lot, and therapists are trained to read it. Since they only see the top part of you on a video call, they lose information. They might not see that you’re nervously fiddling with your hands, for example. In an in-person session, that might signal your therapist that it’s time to do some regulating activities, which can help make therapy more manageable.

 

The pros and cons of in-person therapy

Maybe you’ve thought, “Should I find therapy near me?” If that’s entered your mind, it’s a sign you would probably benefit from mental health support. Before you decide to pursue it in-person, weigh the pros and cons.

Pros:

The main benefits of in-person therapy include:

• Easier connection with your therapist: When you’re only seeing your therapist digitally, it can take more time to build trust. In person, you get the benefit of being in the room together. They can read your nonverbal cues to see when you might need to slow things down and take a centering breath, for example. 
• Access to physical tools: Your therapist might be able to offer resources to keep you more comfortable during your appointments. Doing something with your hands like playing with putty or a fidget toy might help you regulate as you do emotional work. And your therapist may already have these things on hand for you in their office.

• Potential for cost flexibility: A lot of the online therapy companies have fixed fees. If you find an in-person therapist, they can often work with you to find a cost per session that works with your budget.

• A safe, separated space: Therapy often feels raw or sensitive. When you do this work in your therapist’s office, you get the chance to leave it after your appointment. You can choose what you take home with you. If you do this work in your own house or apartment, it can be harder to get that separation from the emotions you faced during therapy.

 

Cons:

• More schedule strain: Getting to and from your therapist’s office adds time on either side of your appointment. A lot of people say the drive/walk/bike ride can be helpful decompression time after their appointment, but if you’re really busy, those added minutes might be a challenge. 
• Fewer options: While you’ll have hundreds of online therapists from which to choose, you’ll find fewer if you want to see someone close to you. Still, that “therapy near me” search should pull up plenty of choices.

 

How do I find therapy near me?

We can make this easy. At our office in Tarzana, we serve the San Fernando Valley and the surrounding area.

When you call our office, our intake coordinator gathers a bit of information from you. That allows us to pair you with a therapist who we think would be a good fit.

That said, you might not click with that person — that’s totally normal and okay. It takes a lot of people a few tries to find the right therapist for them. And we have multiple therapists you can explore with our team.

To get paired with a therapist here at West Valley Counseling Center, contact us.