Check In for Teachers: How Are You Doing?

As a teacher, you’ve chosen a career path that invests in others. By providing an education to growing minds, you help to set your students up for a lifetime of success.

You’re also putting yourself out there. Between opinionated parents and curriculum changes from state and federal agencies, it can feel like a lot is on the line right now.

As one recent study put it, “Teaching is challenging and yet one of the most rewarding professions, but several factors correlate with stress, burnout, anxiety, and depression among teachers.”

So, with the year underway, we wanted to check in with all of the teachers in our community in the San Fernando Valley. How are you doing?

Taking a pause to take a pulse

The start of the school year is often a mad dash. All the time you spend readying your classroom and lesson planning pays off, but that doesn’t mean things usually go fully according to plan. As you adjust to new students and all the other new dynamics of this school year, you might feel like you’ve been sprinting since the first day of the year.

That can — and often does — take a toll. Per the aforementioned study, high percentages of teachers deal with serious mental health challenges. That study estimated that as many as:

  • 74% of teachers are experiencing burnout
  • 87.1% of teachers are stressed
  • 41.2% of teachers live with symptoms of an anxiety disorder
  • 77% of teachers have symptoms of depression

Those are the top end of the ranges the study found, but it’s still notable just how prevalent mental health challenges are among teachers.

With a good chunk of the school year behind us, now’s a great time to take a pause and see if you feel like you fit into any of those categories. Try to carve out a couple of hours to do some breathing exercises, journal, or even just go for a walk while you self-reflect. This time can help you determine if you’re in a mentally healthy place or if you need some extra support.

During your check-in window, a few screening tools can help you get a better idea of where you stand with certain mental health challenges:

The results of those screeners might tell you what kind of help would be best for you.

Putting support in place

After you’ve checked in with yourself, you can decide if you need or want to take next steps. If you need help deciding on what those next steps should be, you can ask around. Your fellow teachers might have tips that have helped them. The California Teachers Association also has some resources you can tap into.

If you completed any of the screeners, those can help to point you in the right direction, too. If you’re experiencing burnout, for example, boundary-setting and self-care are usually a big help. If you’re dealing with symptoms of anxiety and depression, seeing a therapist helps you get resources for managing your symptoms and supporting your mental health.

The key thing here is the moment of pause to see how you’re really doing. If you grind through the entire school year, relying on momentum to carry you through, you’ll almost undoubtedly join the ranks of teachers experiencing burnout.

If you want some support but you’re not sure what that could look like, we’re here. Our team of therapists offers dedicated care for burnout, anxiety, and depression. We can help you cultivate stress management techniques and set better boundaries. If you want someone to come alongside you to help you care for your mental health this school year, contact us.

San Fernando Valley Couples’ Counseling: What To Expect

Starting therapy on your own can feel daunting. When you’re diving in as a couple, it’s different. On the one hand, you have the support of your partner. On the other, most couples don’t start counseling because things are peachy. You might feel nervous about surfacing your challenges in front of a therapist, or about what your partner will say during sessions.

That’s completely normal and understandable. Starting couples’ counseling in the San Fernando Valley or anywhere else means coming up against a lot of unknowns. It doesn’t have to be a total mystery, though.

While what happens in your sessions largely depends on you and your partner, there are some basic foundations in place. Knowing about those eliminates some of the fear of the unknown, which can help you feel more comfortable as you get started.

Setting expectations for couples’ counseling

First, if you’re feeling any guilt and shame about starting couples’ counseling, we want to help you release that. It’s normal and even good to have some conflict in your relationship. You and your partner aren’t the same person, and it’s healthy to have your own wants and needs. By deciding to start couples’ counseling in San Fernando Valley, you’re putting yourself in a position to get extra tools to support yourself, your partner, and your relationship.

Secondly, you can come in feeling confident that couples’ counseling has a proven, data-backed track record of success. By creating space for you and your partner to talk about what’s bothering you, you have the opportunity to break patterns that have been burdening your relationship.

Third, what happens during couples’ counseling is totally up to you and your partner. You don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to, and you don’t have to explore any difficulties before you feel ready. Your therapist is there to walk alongside the two of you, supporting you along the way rather than pushing you in any specific direction.

What happens at your first couples’ counseling session

The first couples’ counseling session isn’t so different from a first appointment if you’re starting therapy on your own. The main goal is for your therapist to learn about you and why you’re starting counseling.

Your first session, then, often centers around you and your partner telling your therapist the story of how you met. They’ll want to hear more than just the problems that brought you in. Understanding your relationship history, your patterns, and other pieces of context helps them personalize a couples’ counseling plan to you and your partner.

Tailoring your San Fernando Valley couples’ counseling to you

There’s no “normal” way to do couples’ counseling. It’s all about finding what’s best for you and your partner.

Sometimes, both couples always come in to meet with the therapist together. Other times, one partner isn’t ready to start therapy and the other partner starts on their own. In some situations, the couple meets with the therapist together some days, and individually on others. The format really depends on what works best for where you’re at right now. And it can be changed if your needs change as you move forward.

During couples’ counseling with our team, you’ll also get resources you can use (your therapist might call this your “relationship toolbox”). You’ll learn new ways to listen and respond to your partner. Your therapist might even give you take-home exercises so you can practice between sessions.

Ideally, you won’t be in couples’ counseling forever. On average, couples usually attend about 12 sessions, although the right duration totally depends on your specific situation.

If you’re ready to get started with San Fernando Valley couples’ counseling, contact our team. Our intake coordinator can help to pair you with the right therapist from our team for your specific needs and goals. In your first appointment with them, they’ll learn about you and you’ll then learn what they recommend as a plan for supporting your relationship.

Back to School Support: Kids’ Anxiety Counseling in San Fernando Valley

Across the San Fernando Valley, most schools have been back in session for about a month now. For a lot of kids, that means the jitters that come with the start of a new school year are in the rearview mirror. If you notice that your child or teen still seems to be struggling, it might be time to consider kids’ anxiety counseling.

If you think your child/teen might be living with persistent anxiousness, know that they’re not alone. Anxiety in children and teens has been on the rise. That was true even before the pandemic, which then exacerbated the situation. Today, experts estimate that as many as 20% of kids worldwide live with the symptoms of anxiety.

That’s why our team offers dedicated kids’ anxiety counseling at our San Fernando Valley office.

New school year, new fears: Getting started with anxiety counseling

Most kids and teens feel at least some butterflies as the first day of school approaches. With new teachers, new classrooms, new peers, and new subject matter to learn, a new year introduces a lot of unknowns. And that uncertainty can trigger anxious feelings.

For some kids, the nervousness passes once they get into the swing of things. Making friends in their class or reconnecting with old ones often helps. So does establishing their relationship with their teacher(s).

For other kids, though, even as the newness wears off, the anxiousness doesn’t. You might notice that your child or teen still seems to be exhibiting behaviors that show they’re feeling unsettled and uneasy. Some common indicators that they’re dealing with anxiety, not just back-to-school jitters, include the child/teen:

  • Asking lots of questions about school, especially ones you’ve already answered
  • Regularly voicing worries
  • Having irregularities in their sleep patterns
  • Saying that they have a stomachache or headache more often
  • Having trouble concentrating
  • Not wanting to go to school, maybe even faking illness to stay home
  • Being restless, often finding it difficult to sit still
  • Using the bathroom more frequently
  • Having a more difficult time regulating their emotions

If that sounds familiar, your teen or child might benefit from anxiety counseling to support their back-to-school transition.

What to expect with kids’ anxiety counseling in the San Fernando Valley

When you contact our office, our intake coordinator asks some questions about your teen or child and the symptoms you’ve been seeing them exhibit. This helps us pair them with the right therapist. At our Woodland Hills office serving the San Fernando Valley, kids’ anxiety counseling is one of our specialties.

Once we have the first appointment set up, you bring your child or teen. The therapist might meet with both of you together, especially if your child is young, but the bulk of the session will be one-on-one. During the first appointment, the therapist’s goal is to understand what your child/teen is feeling. This helps them develop a treatment plan.

Usually, teen and kids’ anxiety counseling centers around talk therapy, or meeting regularly with a therapist. This talk therapy can help your child or teen better understand what’s making them feel anxious, then develop tools for managing the situation or feeling. Specifically, our therapists often use cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), a type of talk therapy that focuses on identifying negative thoughts, then challenging or coping with them.

Your child/teen’s therapist builds a safe, private space for them, but they will keep you informed about the treatment plan. If they work on specific coping skills, for example, the therapist might teach them to you, too, so you can reinforce applying them at home.

The back-to-school season can be a stress-inducing one for your child/teen and your family. For support, contact our team about kids’ anxiety counseling at our San Fernando Valley office. We’re here to come alongside you and your teen or child to help them navigate this school year with resources to help alleviate their anxious feelings.

Do We Need Couples Counseling? Questions To Ask

Every relationship goes through challenging seasons. Maybe something external is at play, like a job loss or illness. Or maybe you’ve had something happen between the two of you that you’re having trouble sorting out.

Whatever the case may be, you might have found yourself wondering about couples therapy.

If you’re thinking about finding San Fernando Valley couples counseling, that in and of itself is already a strong indicator you would benefit from this kind of care. Still, we can help you explore this opportunity a little further by teeing up some questions to ask yourself and your partner.

Some questions to ask

To help you decide if seeking out San Fernando Valley couples counseling is right for you and your partner, our team compiled this list. It reflects a lot of the most common issues we see from couples who come in to work on their relationship.

Ask yourself — and, if they’re willing, your partner:

  1. Do we have the same argument(s) over and over?
  2. Does our communication feel effective?
  3. Are we less emotionally vulnerable with one another than we used to be?
  4. Are we less physically intimate than before?
  5. Do I feel heard when I talk to you? Do you feel heard when you talk to me?
  6. (If you live together) Does our home feel like a safe space?
  7. Do we feel like we’re on the same team — or more like opponents?
  8. Are we having trouble agreeing on a major life decision?
  9. Do I trust you? Do you trust me?
  10. Do we want to build a healthier relationship?

Then, here’s an answer key. If you give the below answer to several of the questions, it’s a sign couples therapy could probably benefit your relationship:

  1. Yes
  2. No
  3. Yes
  4. Yes
  5. No/No
  6. No
  7. Opponents
  8. Yes
  9. No/No
  10. Yes

That last answer is an important one. Couples counseling works best when both people are willing to put in work to support their shared bond. That said, even if your partner isn’t ready to start therapy, you can start couples counseling alone. Your therapist helps you develop tools and more emotional awareness that you can bring home.

Getting started with San Fernando Valley couples counseling

If those questions made you think that it’s time to explore this kind of therapy, we can help you get started with San Fernando Valley couples counseling.

Reach out to us, and our intake coordinator asks you some questions about what you want to get out of therapy. This allows us to pair you with a couples therapist who we think will be a good fit for your specific situation.

Whether you come to counseling with your partner or on your own, your therapist has a wide range of resources they can use to help you build a healthier relationship. They might work with you on exercises that help you understand your partner’s perspective, or they might teach you tools to help you communicate more effectively. In short, you get personalized support for this challenging season in your relationship.

We’re here to make it easy to get started with San Fernando Valley couples counseling. Contact us today.

Trauma: The Gift That Keeps on Giving

When trauma strikes, it feels like being trapped in darkness with no way out. Yet, like the Thai cave rescue, healing happens when we trust our wise self, our survivor self, and the support of others. Trauma, when faced with courage and compassion, becomes the gift that keeps on giving.

Our Founder and Executive Director, Sharon Burnett, PhD, was recently on the podcast, “Let the Journey Begin.” On it, she spoke about trauma.

Trauma as disruption without repair

On the podcast, Dr. Burnett shared a simple but profound definition of trauma: “Trauma is disruption without repair.”

Every human being has experienced moments when something broke apart — whether in relationships, safety, or trust — and no one was there to help mend it. This absence of repair leaves scars, but it also holds within it the possibility of healing.

The Thai cave rescue: A living metaphor

In 2018, the world watched as 12 young Thai boys and their soccer coach were trapped deep inside the Tham Luang cave after sudden flooding blocked their way out. For over two weeks, they lived in darkness, uncertainty, and fear. Rescue seemed impossible.
To bring them out, divers developed a daring plan. The boys, who didn’t even know how to swim, would need to dive through long, flooded passages to reach safety. One by one, each boy was fitted with diving gear and oxygen tanks. A diver swam in front, guiding him through the dark waters, while another diver followed close behind to make sure he was safe.
The rescuers told the boys, “All you have to do is breathe and trust.”
This image offers a profound metaphor for trauma healing. The diver in front is like our wise self — the part of us that can see the way forward and gently lead us through darkness. The diver behind is our survivor self — the part that makes sure we get there safely, even when fear threatens to overwhelm us. And we, like the boys, must learn to breathe, trust, and take the journey one step at a time.

The hidden gift within the pain

The “gift” of trauma isn’t in the suffering itself, but in what happens when we choose to confront it with courage, compassion, and support.

Trauma can teach us empathy. It can awaken a deeper capacity for love. It can remind us of our resilience and push us to build connections that bring true healing.

One of Dr. Burnett’s core beliefs is that we don’t heal in isolation. Just as the Thai boys needed an entire team of divers, doctors, and supporters, repair happens when others come alongside us. Healing requires community, compassion, and the reminder that we are not alone.

Trauma will always be part of our story, but it doesn’t have to define the ending. Each time we choose to face it, to speak it, and to move through it with support, we discover another gift: the ability to begin again. And that gift — of resilience, compassion, and transformation — is one that keeps unfolding throughout a lifetime.

Embarking on your journey

Where in your life do you feel like you’re still in the cave — trapped in darkness, waiting for a way out? What would it look like to trust your wise self to guide you forward, while allowing your survivor self to keep you safe? Sometimes, all you need to do is breathe, trust, and take the next step.

At West Valley Counseling Center, we believe healing begins in safe, supportive relationships. If you’re ready to begin your own journey of repair, resilience, and growth, reach out to us today.

What To Expect at Your First Therapy Appointment

If you’re about to get started with therapy for the first time, you’re probably wondering how it’s going to go. Will your first appointment be like your first visit with a new doctor, or will it feel more like a job interview or talking to a friend? How will you know if your therapist is a good fit for you?

Fear of the unknown keeps a lot of us from doing things we’re curious about. So that fear doesn’t keep you from your first appointment, we want to help clear up some of that uncertainty. Let’s walk through what usually happens at your first therapy appointment with our team here in the San Fernando Valley.

Introduction

The first part of your therapy appointment should be pretty easy. We have a waiting room where you can (ideally) relax beforehand. Once it’s time for your appointment, your therapist will come find you in the waiting area.

They’ll show you into their office and invite you to take a seat. We’ve designed our offices to be comfortable spaces. Feel free to adjust any pillows or anything else you need to feel good while you’re sitting there.

Once you’re settled, your therapist starts by introducing themselves. They won’t tell you personal details in their life (healthy boundaries are important in therapy), but they might tell you a little bit about their background in mental healthcare.

The bulk of your first therapy appointment isn’t about your therapist, though. It’s about you.

Learning more about you

Your first appointment functions as a sort of intake session. Your therapist wants to use this time to learn how they can potentially help you.

Therapists’ techniques and approaches differ, but almost all of them will ask the same question during a first appointment: What brings you to therapy? Be as honest as you feel comfortable here. The more you’re willing to share with your therapist, the better they can tailor a treatment plan to you.

To dig deeper into your reason for seeking out therapy, your new therapist will ask you about yourself. They might ask you to give them a brief autobiography, or to tell them about your dynamic with your family. They’ll usually ask if you have any experience with therapy in the past and, if so, what that’s been like.

The first therapy appointment is an exploratory session for both the therapist and you. By the end of your appointment, your therapist should provide you with a broad outline of what you two might work on together. In addition to talk therapy, for example, they might recommend options like art therapy or group sessions.

Finding the right therapist in the San Fernando Valley

By the end of your appointment, you should also have a sense for how you feel about that therapist. It usually takes a few sessions to build a rapport. But if you can tell right away that it’s not a fit, that’s totally fine. Get in touch with our intake coordinator (the person you initially spoke to in order to get started) and we can connect you with a different therapist.

Some people report that their first therapy appointment was easy and relatively surface level. Others go deep right away. If you leave that session feeling drained, know that that’s totally normal. Sharing about yourself — especially the more vulnerable parts of your life — can require a lot emotionally. We recommend holding some time after your first appointment for self-care just in case you need it.

If you come into your first appointment with a goal for therapy, our team is here to help you move toward it. That initial conversation with the first therapist you try might help you make progress. Or it might tell you more about what works for you and what doesn’t, and we can help you pivot accordingly.

If you haven’t scheduled your first therapy appointment yet but you want to, don’t hesitate to get in touch. Our team here in the San Fernando Valley is ready to help you get started.

In Person vs. Online: Should I Find Therapy Near Me?

find a therapist near me

If you’re ready to start seeing a therapist, you have options. Lots of different mental health professionals exist offering lots of different specialties. A simple internet search of “therapy near me” will turn up plenty of results in the San Fernando Valley. You’re not limited geographically, either. You also have the choice of seeing your therapist online.

Sitting in a room with someone can be helpful in certain situations, but virtual therapy offers some benefits. To help you find the right path for yourself and what you want to get out of therapy, let’s compare the pros and cons.

The pros and cons of virtual therapy

A lot of big companies now offer online therapy all over the country. That comes with some benefits, but there are also some drawbacks you should know about.

Pros:

Virtual therapy comes with two big upsides:

  • Convenience: With online therapy, you only need to carve an hour out of your day. You don’t need to account for any travel time to or from an office, and you can even take the call in your PJ bottoms if you feel more comfortable that way.  
  • Lots of choices: If you search “therapy near me,” you’ll turn up dozens of options. If you go the online route, though, you’ll have thousands of therapists from which to choose.

 

Cons:

There are some downsides of choosing online therapy. Those include:

  • More time in front of a computer: In our digital era, a lot of people have Zoom fatigue. Choosing virtual therapy means adding another hour of sitting in front of a screen. 
  • Less privacy at home: If your living situation makes it hard to get a quiet area alone, it can make therapy harder. You want to be able to fully open up during your sessions. That can be difficult if you’re worried someone might overhear or you’ve got a child who’s prone to barging in.
  • Less information for your therapist to use: Body language says a lot, and therapists are trained to read it. Since they only see the top part of you on a video call, they lose information. They might not see that you’re nervously fiddling with your hands, for example. In an in-person session, that might signal your therapist that it’s time to do some regulating activities, which can help make therapy more manageable.

 

The pros and cons of in-person therapy

Maybe you’ve thought, “Should I find therapy near me?” If that’s entered your mind, it’s a sign you would probably benefit from mental health support. Before you decide to pursue it in-person, weigh the pros and cons.

Pros:

The main benefits of in-person therapy include:

  • Easier connection with your therapist: When you’re only seeing your therapist digitally, it can take more time to build trust. In person, you get the benefit of being in the room together. They can read your nonverbal cues to see when you might need to slow things down and take a centering breath, for example. 
  • Access to physical tools: Your therapist might be able to offer resources to keep you more comfortable during your appointments. Doing something with your hands like playing with putty or a fidget toy might help you regulate as you do emotional work. And your therapist may already have these things on hand for you in their office.
  • Potential for cost flexibility: A lot of the online therapy companies have fixed fees. If you find an in-person therapist, they can often work with you to find a cost per session that works with your budget.
  • A safe, separated space: Therapy often feels raw or sensitive. When you do this work in your therapist’s office, you get the chance to leave it after your appointment. You can choose what you take home with you. If you do this work in your own house or apartment, it can be harder to get that separation from the emotions you faced during therapy.

 

Cons:

  • More schedule strain: Getting to and from your therapist’s office adds time on either side of your appointment. A lot of people say the drive/walk/bike ride can be helpful decompression time after their appointment, but if you’re really busy, those added minutes might be a challenge. 
  • Fewer options: While you’ll have hundreds of online therapists from which to choose, you’ll find fewer if you want to see someone close to you. Still, that “therapy near me” search should pull up plenty of choices.

 

How do I find therapy near me?

We can make this easy. At our office in Tarzana, we serve the San Fernando Valley and the surrounding area.

When you call our office, our intake coordinator gathers a bit of information from you. That allows us to pair you with a therapist who we think would be a good fit.

That said, you might not click with that person — that’s totally normal and okay. It takes a lot of people a few tries to find the right therapist for them. And we have multiple therapists you can explore with our team.

To get paired with a therapist here at West Valley Counseling Center, contact us.

Breaking the Silence: Destigmatizing Mental Health in the Military

In the high-stakes, high-performance world of military service, strength and resilience are virtues. But what happens when those expectations leave little room for vulnerability — especially when it comes to mental health?

For many servicemembers, the pressure to appear invincible can lead to a culture of silence. Emotional struggles are often hidden behind tight-lipped professionalism, and seeking help may feel like admitting defeat. But the truth is, mental health care is not a sign of weakness. It’s a strategy for long-term strength.

The reality of mental health challenges in the military

Dealing with a mental health challenge like depression, anxiety, or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD often makes people feel alone. But the reality is: you’re not. More than a half-million active service members of the U.S. Armed Forces have a diagnosed mental health disorder.

The actual number of affected people is probably higher, too. One study found that 60% of military personnel dealing with a mental health difficulty don’t seek help. Why not? Leading reasons were “My unit leadership might treat me differently” and “I would be seen as weak.”

If that sounds familiar, let that be even more validation that you’re not alone in this. And taking care of your mental health doesn’t just benefit you. It positively impacts your family and friends.

If you’re still serving, it also matters for your unit. When mental health is neglected, it can impair judgment, performance, and cohesion. Supporting psychological wellbeing isn’t just compassionate. It’s critical to operational effectiveness.

Breaking the stigma: The first step

As with any destigmatization, the first step in breaking the stigma around mental health in the military is simply talking about it.

If you’ve been dealing with a mental health challenge yourself, consider finding someone close to you that you can talk to. If you don’t feel safe with anyone you currently know, that’s an excellent indicator you’d benefit from finding a therapist.

If you’re not living with a mental health condition, your role is just as important here. Be open. Listen. Ask questions to your friends who serve(d) with you, checking in on their mental wellness.

The more you talk about mental health, the more people will feel like they can share their own experience with it.

Finding military-backed and outside mental health support

Leaders within the Armed Forces are well aware that mental health challenges are prevalent among their organizations. That’s why they offer resources to help.

Within Military OneSource, you can request confidential counseling. You can also tap into the Military Family Life Counseling (MFLC) program to find options near you. There are more than 300 available counselors across California.

Alternatively, you might prefer to see a mental health pro outside of the military umbrella. If you’d rather keep your service and your mental healthcare separate, we have some tips to help you find a therapist.

By opening up dialogue, we can reshape how mental health is viewed in the military community. It starts with listening, sharing, and supporting each other so no one feels like they’re carrying the weight alone. And we’re here to help. If you want to find a therapist to come alongside you and help you care for your mental wellness, contact us.

Building Emotional Agility in Kids: Tips From a Child Therapist in Woodland Hills

Life can be overwhelming for kids and teens as LAUSD and other schools in the San Fernando Valley schools start back up in the fall. Between stress about school, sports, and extracurriculars and pressure from their peers, there’s usually a lot on their mind. Layer in growing bodies and changing hormone levels and it’s no surprise a lot of teens and kids are going through it.

If you’re a parent, teacher, or other key figure in a child’s life, you probably want to help. Teaching them about emotional agility gives you a way to do exactly that. Our team of child therapists serve Woodland Hills and the surrounding area. We’ve seen a lot of local parents, teachers, and other adults benefit from helping kids explore emotional agility.

Understanding emotional agility

Kids and teens often feel pressure to behave or perform in a certain way. That might lead them to ignore or push aside their emotions, particularly ones that are typically labeled “bad” like anger or jealousy.

Our child therapists often teach about emotional agility because it offers a different framework. With this mentality, we don’t label emotions as good or bad. Instead, we see them as information. When a teen or kid is experiencing an emotion, it’s their body and mind trying to tell them something.

Developed by psychologist Dr. Susan David, this approach invites kids and teens to look more closely at what they’re feeling — and learn from it. This often helps them better manage their feelings.

Four steps to help kids and teens practice emotional agility

Our team of child therapists in Woodland Hills often lays out the following four steps to help teens and kids explore emotional agility.

 

#1: Start by naming the emotion
Here, it might be helpful to teach kids the rhyme, “Name it to tame it.” Using an emotion chart or wheel can help them pinpoint what they’re feeling.

The key in this first step is to help the teen or child identify the emotion without attaching any judgment to it. Encourage them to be curious about what they’re feeling.

 

#2: Normalize the feeling
Remind the teen or child that all feelings are okay. The emotion is information, not an indicator of how they are as a person. Be with them to hold space for that emotion, no matter what it is.

 

#3: Pause
The emotion becomes information the teen or child can use when they learn to put space between feeling and reacting. They can take a breath or count to five, for example. This pause allows them to listen to what their body’s telling them as they experience the emotion.

 

#4: Align with their values
Don’t tell the child or teen how to react or respond. Instead, help them explore how they can make choices that align with their values even while they’re experiencing that emotion. If they want to be a good friend, that might mean deciding not to act on their anger.

It can be helpful to ask, “What kind of person do you want to be in this situation?”

Resources recommended our team of child therapists in Woodland Hills

The biggest tip we can give adults here is: model the emotional agility yourself. Talk with kids and teens about what you’re feeling and how you’re deciding to engage with that emotion based on your values.

Our child therapists in Woodland Hills also developed a list of resources that might be helpful:

Emotional agility doesn’t help kids stay happy all the time. Instead, it gives them a way to feel all of their feelings without labeling them as good or bad. By holding that space with a pause before they decide to act, this practice helps kids live freely and gives them a way to move forward based on their values.

This is only a brief overview, though. If you want to talk more about emotional agility and other tools to help the child or teen in your life, schedule some time with a child therapist in Woodland Hills. Our experienced, compassionate team is ready to come alongside you. Send us a message online or call us to get something scheduled.

Self-Care: What you need to know

Self-care is trending. But before you dismiss it with the heap of other pointless social media trends, consider what you need. Would your mind or body benefit from you putting time and energy into caring for yourself? If you often feel tired, anxious, stressed, or depressed, the answer is probably yes. So let’s take a closer look at self-care.

What is self-care?

Think of someone you love in your life. Now think about the ways you care for them. That could be making time for them, giving them words of encouragement, or getting them gifts. You probably actively care for all of the people in your life on a regular basis. But many of us don’t do the same for ourselves.

Self-care is the active investment of time and energy in (you guessed it!) caring for ourselves. It’s an act of acknowledging that our minds and bodies work hard and need some attention. This isn’t self-obsession or narcissism. It’s the recognition that rest and restoration are key, that having compassion for ourselves is important, and that we should show ourselves the same kindness we show others.

Why self-care is important.

But is self-care really necessary? Older generations never talked about self-care and they all turned out fine. But you could also argue that self-care was better built into daily life in a pre-digital age. Now, disconnecting is impossible unless you make a concerted effort. To combat the stressors of living the average American life in 2018, self-care matters. Here are a few reasons why.

It mitigates stress.

Mental health is in a critical state in our country. More Americans than ever report suffering from anxiety and depression. And a portion of that can be attributed to the fact that most of us feel stressed most of the time. Dedicating time to self-care – whether that means getting enough sleep, carving out time for an activity you enjoy, or meditating– helps you manage stressors and protect your mental wellbeing.

It supports mindfulness.

We live in a fast-moving, highly-connected world. It’s not uncommon to go through an entire day simply responding to the inputs in front of us. But when we climb into a bed after a day of simply trying to keep our heads above water, we often feel exhausted and unfulfilled. Taking time to slow down and practice self-care disconnects us from this go-go-go mentality so we can pause and mindfully enjoy the best moments in our lives.

You can’t pour from an empty cup.

When you’re burnt out, you don’t feel up to much. That includes being there for the people in your life and investing in your community. Think of it this way. If your energy levels are a cup, self-care is a way to refill it. And you’re only able to pour yourself into the people around you when your cup isn’t already drained.

Quick and easy ways to practice self-care.

Fortunately, there are some really easy ways to jump in with self-care today! Remember, this is just an act of taking care of yourself. So it’s really as simple as dedicating some time to doing what you feel like your body and mind need. Here are a few suggestions to get you started.

Get outside.

When was the last time you spent an hour in nature with no agenda? Head to the beach or your favorite hiking trail and enjoy. Spending time in the fresh air is good for you.

Drink a beverage.

Slowing down in our busy world is hard. Sure, all of us could probably benefit from an hour of meditation – but getting our minds corraled for that long feels very challenging. Instead, brew a cup of your favorite warm beverage. Find a comfy place to sit and enjoy your coffee or tea. Taking that time – even if it’s just ten minutes – to rest with your thoughts and find contentment could transform your whole day.

Sleep.

No, really. Practicing self-care can be as simple as getting some shut-eye. This is all about giving ourselves what we need. And if your body is telling you it needs rest, listen to it!

Journal.

There is power in learning to observe our thoughts and listen to our internal dialogue. Journaling can make that easier. If your brain has been feeling muddled, try pulling out pen and paper. The act of capturing your thoughts can help you unlock new potential and unload burdens.

Say no.

A big part of the reason all of us feel so stressed and tired is that we stretch ourselves to our full capacity. And, sure, it’s exciting to see what we can accomplish when we strive, but striving all day, every day isn’t healthy. One of the most powerful acts of self-care is saying no to things that would overextend you.

Talk to us.

Another great way to care for yourself is to make sure that you have the support you need. Our team at the Ventura Counseling & Wellness Center is here if you want to talk. To learn more about wellness and counseling services, get in touch.