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Teens can go from being cuddly and precocious children that cannot wait for parents or guardians to come home, to cold and distant roommates that value independence above all else. The transition from child to teen can be a struggle for any family, but there are measures that can be taken to create a more copasetic family life that also grants teens the autonomy and freedom they crave.

Many parents follow their teen’s lead, and allow a gap to slowly widen until things such as self-esteem and grades plummet and behavioral problems may appear. In this case, as with many others, an ounce of prevention really is worth a pound of cure.

Here are some strategies that may help in bonding with reluctant teens:

1. Find Common Ground

Try to engage teens using hobbies such as running, gardening, sports, reading, and music. Having a special activity that everyone enjoys can feel much more comfortable than family dinners or structured events. These activities also provide a creative outlet for teens to express themselves and create healthy habits that can follow them throughout the course of life.

2. Utilize Mornings

Take time to cook breakfast with or for your teens, and ask about their plans for the day. They may surprise you, and let you know about a test they are stressed out about or problems with their social circle. Starting the morning with an encouraging beat will help both parents and teens feel connected throughout the day.

3. Let Them Partake in Important Decisions

Decisions such as moving, taking family vacations, or matters that may have an impact on the family are a great chance to include teens and guide them in making mindful decisions. By giving teens a chance to weigh in on important issues, it creates a safe place for teens to apply logic and refine decision-making skills. Additionally, it empowers teens to validate their autonomy and can help ease tension in times of stress or change.

4. Do not give up!

Reaching a point where teen bonding can occur can take weeks or months of building trust. Parents and caregivers should be patient, consistent, and always available. As tempting as it may be to throw in the towel, the rewards of sealing a bond with a teen will follow them through the course of life, and can be crucial in developing behaviors, attitudes, and motivation as a functioning adult.

If the above tips do not work for specific family circumstances, consider teen therapy at West Valley Counseling Center. West Valley Counseling Center is proud to provide various counseling services, such as teen therapy, anger management, grief and loss counseling, and couples therapy, just to name a few.

West Valley Counseling Center is located at 19634 Ventura Blvd. Suite 212 Tarzana, CA 91356

For more information or to speak to one of our staff, please contact us at (818) 758-9450 or email us at info@westvalleycounseling.org

West Valley Counseling Center Congratulates its recent graduates from Phillips Graduate Institute!

These individuals graduated with Masters in Psychology, and they will be staying on at West Valley Counseling Center as Marriage and Family Therapist Interns.

From Left to Right:

Lisa Markinson, Alex Kofsky, Julie Krimstein, Judy Grant, Nicole Gersheson.

For more information or to speak to one of our staff, please contact us at (818) 758-9450 or email us at info@westvalleycounseling.org

Living with intention is mindfulness at its peak. How many days do individuals trudge to work, pick up the kids, watch television, and go to sleep only to repeat the process the next day? While these tasks are unavoidable, they also may create a way for individuals to emotionally ‘check out’ from dreams, goals, and personal development.

Here are some simple ways to add intention to your life and reap the benefits of introspection and personal achievement:

1. The Importance of Health & Well-Being

It is hard to focus on anything when feeling lethargic, burnt out, or unhealthy. The first step to living with intention is treating yourself and body with respect. That means eating healthy, engaging in moderate exercise, and receiving an adequate amount of sleep. Create a realistic routine, and try to stick with it. Being physically healthy is an important aspect of maintaining emotional well-being, and this is the first step.

2. Set Goals and a Plan of Action

Research supports that the best way to reach a goal is to set sub-goals and determine a plan of action for how to methodically solve each obstacle until the goal is reached. This is less about timelines and more about knowing each step. For example, running a marathon requires months of prep work. Working backwards can help figure out how much training is needed per week until the big race. By using sub-goals such as “running one mile this week, and two the next” helps individuals stay focused and excited about goals.

3. Recognize Your Control (or Lack of Control)

It is important to recognize what aspects of life are controllable and which are not. Many people get sucked into fulfilling the status quo without really doing anything to make them happy. For example, it is hard to control how a boss or manager may act, but it is in an individual’s control to have a discussion with a boss to address the feeling of lack of respect or value.

4. Celebrate Your Successes

Anything worth doing takes time. Enjoy the journey, and celebrate small victories. Little league wins, finishing a poem, or de-cluttering the home office are all tasks that should be celebrated with something that makes you feel happy, alive, and intentioned.

Living with intention provides helpful scaffolding in finding a purpose in life. Intention stems from knowing what brings joy, gratitude, and meaning to life. Another important factor to consider in living with intention is the recognition that goals, identities, and values change over time. Many individuals fixate on a point in the past or an old goal that was never achieved, and they fail to realize that life is fluid and ever changing. Dreams and aspirations may have evolved, and it is okay to change your mind, direction, and thought processes.

For more information or to speak to one of our staff, please contact us at (818) 758-9450 or email us at info@westvalleycounseling.org

West Valley Counseling Center is located at 19634 Ventura Blvd. Suite 212 Tarzana, CA 91356

West Valley Counseling Center Sponsors Training Breakfast for SBHP, Whose Mission is to Provide Care for Service Members and Their Families

On May 27, San Fernando-based West Valley Counseling Center is teaming up with Star Behavioral Health Providers (SBHP) to sponsor SBHP’s training breakfast. The breakfast will precede three levels of training sessions that are geared toward training behavioral health providers in military culture so these professionals may be best equipped to treat the needs of service members and their families.

SBHP provides three tiers of training that focus on: 1) the introduction to military culture; 2) the education about specific challenges associated with military service; 3) the clinical skills necessary to address some behavioral issues that service members, veterans, and their families face. With this training and awareness, these licensed health clinicians more thoroughly understand evidence-based treatments for PTSD, insomnia, suicidal ideation, chronic pain, and depression.

West Valley Counseling Center (WVCC)—a non-profit in Tarzana, CA—provides therapy for individuals, couples, and families. West Valley Counseling Center believes in and supports SBHP’s mission and is excited to reach out to SBHP and get involved in helping military members and their families. Several of West Valley Counseling Center’s staff will be partaking in SBHP’s training sessions, which are centered on military sensitivity. WVCC’s therapists work with trauma survivors, whether it be inner family trauma, PTSD, or trauma recovery.

WVCC has expertise in the area of trauma recovery and works through issues to help ease emotional burdens and manage feelings of depression, stress, isolation, loneliness, and anger. WVCC’s services are provided by licensed mental health professionals who work with clients’ issues and concerns through positive support and care.

For more information, please contact WVCC at (818) 758-9450 or visit their website at www.WestValleyCounseling.org.

Domestic violence, or domestic abuse, is a sort of blanket term that has taken on a life of its own through popular culture, media, and word-of-mouth. The West Valley Counseling Center is committed to providing the community with not only the facts regarding domestic violence, but also a contextual picture of how abusive behavior can affect our lives and the lives around us.

According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV), one out of every four women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime. Unfortunately, the true statistic is markedly higher, as many cases of domestic abuse go unreported or unrecognized by individuals who have become normalized to abusive behavior. The purpose of National Domestic Violence Awareness Month is to advocate continued support of domestic support survivors and to urge those in abusive relationships to seek the help and resources they need.

Domestic violence runs rampant when we remain silent. It is through communication and a strong commitment towards providing safe environments for victims that we can reduce not only the physical and psychological damage to victims, but to their friends, families, and children. Furthermore, domestic abuse that may involve one person should be handled delicately and swiftly, so that other family members are not put at increased risk. Above all, remember that compassion towards the victim is key when dealing with domestic violence. Conditional support such as: “I won’t be your friend unless you break up with that person” can often backfire, making victims feel isolated and fearful. This can even result in victims clinging to their abusers even harder, for support. If you ever feel that a friend or loved one is unsafe or in an abusive relationship, in any form, please contact the National Domestic Violence at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE).

West Valley Counseling Center offers therapeutic services for survivors of domestic abuse, as well as anger management classes. For more information or to speak to one of our staff at the West Valley Counseling Center, please contact us at (818) 758-9450 or email us at info@westvalleycounseling.org

West Valley Counseling Center offers therapeutic services for survivors of domestic abuse, as well as anger management classes throughout Southern California. For more information or to speak to one of our staff at the West Valley Counseling Center, please contact us at (818) 758-9450 or email us at info@westvalleycounseling.org

Sources:

http://www.justice.gov/ovw/domestic-violence

http://www.thehotline.org/

http://nnedv.org/getinvolved/dvam.html

For more information or to speak to one of our staff, please contact us at (818) 758-9450 or email us at info@westvalleycounseling.org

Often times, domestic violence is thought of as a traditional scenario where the perpetrator of the abuse is a man, and the victim is a woman. Furthermore, this abuse is often thought to be physical, and usually severe or visible. While this scenario can be accurate in some cases, there are many aspects of domestic violence that aren’t addressed in mainstream domestic violence discussion—including target populations, types of abuse, and severity.

Specific populations may be at increased risk to experience abuse by a spouse or family member, or for cases of domestic abuse to go unreported. For example, a man who was experiencing physical abuse from his wife may not understand that he is in an unhealthy and dangerous situation. It is this double standard that can lead to harmful situations that can escalate into serious problems. In addition to men, it is also important to note is the prevalence of underreporting domestic violence in gay, lesbian, and transgender populations. There can be particular challenges when facing domestic violence in these non-traditional cases, such as perpetrators threatening to ‘out’ their partner, threaten to take away children, or use sensitive information in a lawsuit.

One thing to consider is that there are various types of abuse, all of which can be extremely destructive and scarring. Physical abuse is considered the most common type of domestic abuse, but sexual, psychological, and emotional abuse are all examples of domestic violence. While abuse that isn’t visible can be easier to hide, if you ever feel that a friend or loved one is unsafe or in an abusive relationship, in any form, please contact the National Domestic Violence at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE).

The severity of abuse is also something that victims can sometimes question. If abuse isn’t severe or visible, some victims may not consider the behavior to be abusive. Abuse that isn’t physical or visible can be harder to spot, but there are often signs of abuse that you can watch out for, such as: anxiety or fearfulness regarding their partner, frequently missing school/work without explanation or notice, constant injuries, or drastic personality changes, just to name a few. While these traits may not be noticeable by themselves, together they paint a picture of a dysfunctional relationship or possible destructive behavior.

It is through awareness, counseling, and support that victims of domestic violence can safely get out of dangerous relationships.

West Valley Counseling Center offers therapeutic services for survivors of domestic abuse, as well as anger management classes throughout Southern California. For more information or to speak to one of our staff at the West Valley Counseling Center, please contact us at (818) 758-9450 or email us at info@westvalleycounseling.org

Sources:
http://www.dahmw.org/

http://www.americanprogress.org/issues/lgbt/news/2011/06/14/9850/domestic-violence-in-the-lgbt-community/

http://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/domestic-violence-and-abuse.htm

For more information or to speak to one of our staff, please contact us at (818) 758-9450 or email us at info@westvalleycounseling.org

As April looms closer, high school seniors and community college transfer students are waiting on pins and needles. Dealing with college acceptance and rejection letters can be a very high-stress and emotional time, but there are steps that can be taken to help ease the process:

1) Keep A Routine

Just because applications are turned in and are out of immediate control does not mean students are off the hook academically! Keep study and school routines consistent, and continue to work towards success. Many high school and transfer students are tempted to slack off after they have turned in college applications, but colleges CAN revoke offers of admission, and have done so before.

Continue to work hard and partake in extracurricular activities. Such activities have much more value than an entry on a resume, and the skills learned now can help students cope with new and challenging situations in college, like meeting new friends.

2) Have A Positive Attitude

Just because applications are turned in and are out of immediate control does not mean students are off the hook academically! Keep study and school routines consistent, and continue to work towards success. Many high school and transfer students are tempted to slack off after they have turned in college applications, but colleges CAN revoke offers of admission, and have done so before.

Continue to work hard and partake in extracurricular activities. Such activities have much more value than an entry on a resume, and the skills learned now can help students cope with new and challenging situations in college, like meeting new friends.

3) Accepting a Decision

This is simply harder to do for rejections. The initial feelings may involve anger, sadness, and guilt. Rejections are always painful, and academic ones can be particularly harsh. Just remember that a rejection can be a good thing. College administrators do not reject students as a fulfilling hobby. Administrators accept or reject potential students after careful evaluation, and for a number of reasons. Perhaps an applicant listed career interests that are not directly in line with what a particular college teaches, or the admissions office thinks problems may arise in keeping up with coursework with certain students. It is better to be rejected now than to find that a certain degree does not fit a specific field or that keeping up with coursework is nearly impossible.

If students are rejected to all of the colleges they were hoping to attend, do not lose hope. There are a variety of options that can be taken. Internships, volunteer work, trade schools, and community college can be great stepping-stones to attending a university or making a career choice.

Lastly, do not forget that as important as college is, a college acceptance or rejection is never a judgment on you as an individual. It is your words, actions, and decisions that define who you are, not a degree. After all, we are all students in the school of life.

For more information or to speak to one of our staff, please contact us at (818) 758-9450 or email us at info@westvalleycounseling.org

Discourse regarding mental health disorders is at an all time high, with celebrities and public figures talking about their struggles with anxiety and depression. These figures, such as Robin Williams and Caren Bowen (California Secretary of State) have brought the issue of mental illness to the forefront of many people’s minds. These discussions are the first step in really recognizing the prevalence of mental illness, and ways to help and understand the millions of individuals who suffer from depression and anxiety, and mental illness in general. One of the best ways to help those suffering from mental health disorders is to reduce the stigma of the disease, so that the real treatment can begin. For more cutting edge research on the origins of depression, a very common mental health issue, see Jonathan Rottenberg’s The Depths: The Evolutionary Origins of the Depression Epidemic.

The stigma regarding mental illness is more than just a general negative attitude. The stigma that comes with mental illness prevents individuals from seeking therapeutic and psychiatric help, and negatively impact life in a variety of ways. Those who go without treatment may be more likely to turn to suicide, drugs, or other dangerous coping mechanisms. More organizations than ever before are creating educational initiatives to give the real facts behind this disorder, but in order to promote real and lasting social change, we must all do our part.

First, its time to focus on the facts and move away from damaging stereotypes and myths that perpetuate the idea that mental health disorders are not medically recognized or as valid as other diseases. It is entirely possible to lead successful and healthy lives with mental health disorders if they are being treated properly. For example, actors such as Jon Hamm of popular television series Mad Men, Owen Wilson, and Disney star Demi Lovato have all battled with depression, and have spoken out about their experiences. Caren Bowen has also been very open about her battle with depression, all while fulfilling her duties as Secretary of State. These public figures have taken a leap towards a more educated society in which mental illness is not the defining factor of an individual. These celebrities are a perfect example that mental health issues can be treated and managed, if only those suffering will step forward. By spreading the accurate facts, we can reduce discrimination and stigma, which is crucial in encouraging those with mental health disorders to seek professional health.

The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) urges those with symptoms of mental illness to get evaluated in a timely manner. Putting off treatment for too long can result in self-harm or higher levels of depression or anxiety, as well as dysfunctional behavior in all areas of life.

West Valley Counseling Center offers counseling for a wide variety of mental health disorders, and more. For more information or to speak to one of our staff at the West Valley Counseling Center, please contact us at (818) 758-9450 or email us at info@westvalleycounseling.org

Sources:

http://calmhsa.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/Literature-Review_SDR_Final01-02-13.pdf

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1489812/

http://www.mendthemind.ca/stigma/seven-important-things-we-can-do-reduce-stigma-and-discrimination

West Valley Counseling Center is located at 19634 Ventura Blvd. Suite 212 Tarzana, CA 91356

With all of the modern stressors that accompany adolescence, teens are looking for coping strategies and escape routes any way that they can. Unfortunately, some teens choose to turn to drugs and other harmful coping mechanisms. While marijuana and alcohol get the most attention for being gateway drugs, prescription drug addiction is on the rise, so much that the Centers for Disease Control has gone on to label the issue as an epidemic. These prescription drugs are one of the paths that adolescents are taking without understanding the consequences of substance dependence and abuse, and where it can lead them.

Because of the lack of awareness regarding the dangers of prescription drug as not only an addiction and of a gateway drug, we have a major issue of miscommunication with adolescents and teens. Many teens are under the impression that prescription drugs are safe, as they are sold in a legitimate medical setting and have been prescribed by a doctor. This could not be further from the truth. By developing an addiction to these drugs, adolescents prime themselves for even more harmful drug-seeking behavior. As tolerance increases, addicted teens will look for cheaper and easier drugs to fulfill that same ‘high’.

Heroin has become the drug of choice for many teens that have abused prescription drugs. According to Foundation for a Drug Free World, even a single dose of heroin can lead to addiction, and especially if teens have already become dependent on or abuse other drugs. Teens who abuse prescription drugs also are at-risk for overdosing, which is much harder to do when experimenting with alcohol or marijuana. Overdosing is also a leading cause of death for heroin users, and as it can often be much stronger than prescription pills, teens run the risk of overdosing due to simple miscalculations of dosage.

So, the question remains: how can we protect teens and adolescents from prescription pills?

The best methods include: educating teens about the dangers of prescription drugs, and to store and dispose of prescriptions properly. Locking up prescriptions and keeping an open dialogue with teens regarding addiction and drug experimentation is just the beginning to the long road of a healthy and drug-free life.

West Valley Counseling Center offers services in Addiction Recovery and therapy for teens and adolescents, as well as adults.

For more information or to speak to one of our staff at the West Valley Counseling Center, please contact us at (818) 758-9450 or email us at info@westvalleycounseling.org

Sources:
http://www.whitehouse.gov/ondcp/prescription-drug-abuse
http://www.drugfreeworld.org/drugfacts/heroin/i-ll-just-try-it-once.html

West Valley Counseling Center is located at 19634 Ventura Blvd. Suite 212 Tarzana, CA 91356

Stress is an inevitable aspect of life, especially in today’s fast paced environment. Learning how to reduce, prevent, and cope with stress is one of the greatest ways to improve quality of life and increase happiness.

In your daily life, you may experience stress regarding a variety of aspects. Learning how to prioritize what matters the most can help to diminish the background noise and really focus on completing important tasks, so that the rest of the time can be spent engaged in activities that bring joy and balance to life.

One of the first steps in stress management is actually addressing direct stressors. Many of us walk around with a vague feeling of anxiety or urgency without really understanding why. By learning which tasks and people produce stress, it is easier to act accordingly. Increasingly, people are finding that personal attitudes and behavior contribute to high levels of stress. This in itself can be a good thing, as long as people are willing to make adjustments to their mental processes and behavior.

Family
From raising kids to communicating with an equally-stressed and busy partner, family can often seem more like a task than a support system. Find ways to equally divide household chores and obligations to take time for relaxation. It is also important to remember that spending time with children and partners can be more important than having a spotless home or a five-course meal every night. Lastly, consider couples counseling or family therapy if dysfunctional communication or behavior contribute to stress on familial relationships.

Work
Changing work habits can work wonders to reduce stress and increase quality of life. Evaluate your position often. Do you procrastinate? Are you happy with what you are doing? While many tasks that are required at your job are non-negotiable, how you choose to do these tasks and the attitude you adopt can have lasting effects on your daily life. If the tasks in your job seem insurmountable, or lead to depression or extreme anxiety, consider a career change or sending out resumes to seek a new position that may be a better fit.

Finances
One of the most common stressors is finance. Financial literacy is key to maintaining a happy life. Use free online resources, such as www.financialliteracymonth.com,to learn how to best manage finances, pay bills, control debt, and save for retirement and college expenses. The simplest—and possibly most important—tool for managing finances is living within your means. That may mean cutting back, moving to a smaller house, or buying a used car or appliance.

Health
Healthy lifestyles are often shoved to the wayside as people try to juggle everything at once. Learning how to make time for exercise and healthy eating can boost mood, productivity, happiness, and longevity. The best way to adopt a healthy lifestyle is to make it part of a routine. Wake up half an hour earlier to take a walk, or bike to work. Depending on circumstances, there are a variety of options to work in a gentle but effective exercise routine at least four times a week. The internet and cookbooks are also great resources that can help with finding easy and healthy recipes.

If you feel that your stress is taking over your life, consider any or all of these steps. West Valley Counseling provides stress management therapy throughout the San Fernando Valley, including Woodland Hills, Tarzana, Sherman Oaks, Hidden Hills, Burbank, Glendale, Calabases, and other communities of Los Angeles County.
For more information or to speak to one of our staff at the West Valley Counseling Center, please contact us at (818) 758-9450 or email us at info@westvalleycounseling.org

Also see Blog Post: Finding a Balance in Life

For more information or to speak to one of our staff at the West Valley Counseling Center, please contact us at (818) 758-9450 or email us at info@westvalleycounseling.org

West Valley Counseling Center is located at 19634 Ventura Blvd. Suite 212 Tarzana, CA 91356