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As we come to a full swing into the holiday season, many of us are preparing our shopping lists, getting baking supplies, decorating our homes, and getting to be a part of another festive season with our families and friends. However, for many of us, this can be a difficult time. Holidays can bring up many mixed emotions that can leave us wondering This is a happy time, I’m supposed to be happy, but I’m not or Why do I feel so alone at this holiday party with all these people? You are not alone in thinking this way. The holiday season can be a time when we have our most impactful memories because they evoke a great deal of different emotions within us.

Maybe this year you are having a difficult time because you are mourning the loss of a family member or loved one, maybe this year is hard because you have run into financial trouble, or perhaps this year is challenging for a number of different reasons. Regardless of your situation, it’s important to remember that it is ok to not be full of the holiday spirit and remember to not force yourself into pretending that everything is perfect if it’s not. There are many other people that are experiencing these struggles during this time of year. During this holiday season if you find yourself getting over-stressed or experiencing more depression than usual, try to take a step back and take care of yourself first.

Try these helpful hints for getting through the holiday season:

1.    Stop and Listen To Your Emotions: If you’re feeling sad or unhappy, ask yourself where is this coming from? Is something or someone making me upset? Am I making myself upset?  Whether you have an answer or not, ask yourself is there anything I can do improve my mood? Watching a movie with the family, going out to have a coffee break, or taking a walk around the park with the dog are a few examples of solutions that may ease any uncomfortable feelings.

2.    Take A Break: If you find yourself in a situation that is becoming too stressful, try to walk away from the situation and take a 15-minute break. Try either going into a room where you will not be disturbed or go outside and take a walk around your neighborhood. This can give us a chance to slow down and not get caught up in the heat of the moment.

3.    Remember Your Boundaries: If you are not comfortable with doing something your friends or family want to do, allow yourself to say “no”. It’s okay if you do not want to do what everyone else is doing. Sometimes we don’t get to do the thing we want to do during the holidays because we are so busy doing so much for others. You have the right to enjoy this holiday season the way you want to as well.

4.    Be Realistic: No one’s family is the “Brady Bunch” and things don’t always go as planned. Something may even be ruined in your opinion. It’s okay, life happens. This does not have to be the best or the perfect holiday season, but it should be one that brings you joy and only you can determine what that is.

We hope these tips will serve you well this holiday season!
From all of us here at the West Valley Counseling Center, we wish you the warmest and happiest of holiday seasons.

Written By Brendan Nierenberg, MFTI from WVCC
West Valley Counseling Center is located at 19634 Ventura Blvd. Suite 212 Tarzana, CA 91356

It is very rare to meet a family that has not been touched by mental illness or psychiatric diagnosis.  It may be a history in the family; a story told about a great uncle who was said to be bi-polar (or manic depressive as they used to call it). Or it might be happening now; a teenager who is using cutting to manage his or her anxiety. Whatever it is, it can be scary, a little bit embarrassing, or overwhelming. There is a great deal of stigma around illness affecting the mind, the emotions and feelings.

Some of us are really struggling to make it through the day. We are sad and depressed, maybe having thoughts or feelings of suicide; we are very, very anxious, unable to concentrate and sure the beating heart we feel in our chest is a sign that we are dying; we use too many substances to soothe ourselves and develop an addiction or dependence; or we have diagnosed chronic illness which is affecting our lives and it just doesn’t seem worth it.  We are stressed and distressed.

What can we do if this is happening to someone we love? How do we talk to them? How can we relate? What do we do.

1. The feelings mentioned above are very real. There doesn’t have to be a reason for them. Please take your loved one seriously.
2. It’s not your friend or family member’s fault. Did you know that mental illness can sometimes be caused by medical conditions? Even a simple urinary tract infection can sometimes cause confusion or other symptoms.
3. Don’t lecture, but don’t minimize their experience. They probably feel bad enough already. It seems like it’s okay to talk about it if someone is diagnosed with cancer, but we don’t talk about it if someone is diagnosed with a mental illness. People feel stigmatized when they are given this kind of diagnoses, sometimes they even feel ashamed.  You can help by being an advocate and providing support.
4. Your family member or friend may need the help of a professional, just like a patient with pneumonia needs a medical professional. They don’t need advice from you, just as a person with pneumonia doesn’t need your advice. They have an illness, and may need professional help.
5. You may feel like you have to “fix it.” You don’t! Listen and support instead. Please don’t tell the person to “get it together”, or to “get over it.” He or she needs support and compassion. Being there is the most important thing. Ask how you can help (though they may not be able to say), and ask how they are feeling.
6. You may be afraid of what is happening. You may even be a little afraid of the person with the diagnosis. That is normal and makes sense. They are most likely scared too! They need your support. Mental and psychiatric illnesses are very common. If you want to understand more, read about their illness or ask questions to a reliable source like your doctor. The National Alliance on Mental Illness (www.nami.org) is an amazing resource with lots of information and resources.
7. You are not alone! Psychiatric and mental illness is common. Support, listen, learn, and get help. (resource: www.nami.org)
8. And lastly, don’t be afraid to Talk About It.  That is where healing and help begins, both for the person suffering with mental illness and those who are most impacted by their illness:  family, loved ones and friends.

 

Written By Elizabeth Bailey, RN

Marriage & Family Therapist Trainee at WVCC

West Valley Counseling Center is located at 19634 Ventura Blvd. Suite 212 Tarzana, CA 91356

For more information or to speak to one of our staff, please contact us at (818) 758-9450 or email us at info@westvalleycounseling.org

Mindfulness-based practices are known to increase of brain gray matter in the right anterior insula. This part of the brain contains the amygdala, which plays a primary role in emotional responses and emotional regulation. Anxiety in adolescents has been identified as a risk factor for the onset of panic attacks, panic disorders, and anxiety disorders. Adolescents who experience anxiety symptoms are prone to develop anxiety pathology and feelings of unsteadiness. Adolescence represents an important part of development, and normal stressors in this stage, can affect an adolescent’s psychopathology. Evidenced based treatments, such as cognitive behavioral therapy and emotional regulation through mindfulness, are particularly effective in managing anxiety symptoms in adolescents.

Early anxiety symptoms found in adolescents have been found to lead to major depression and anxiety disorders, later in life. Anxiety symptoms interfere significantly with the daily life in adolescents. The stressful transition from childhood to adolescence reflects high levels of anxiety, often resulting in more risk taking behaviors. Adolescents that develop Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) are at a much higher risk of distress and impairment throughout their life.

In an adolescent with GAD, the prefrontal and limbic systems are activated, but the amygdala does not excite the ventrolateral cortex, or the part of the brain associated with “mentalization”- the ability to understand the mental state of oneself and others. When this happens, the structures that regulate emotional and affective functions are abnormally connected, causing a major disruption in one’s capacity to interpret self and others’ behaviors.

Anxiety disorders left untreated in adolescents can lead to increased mental health problems and poor social and developmental outcomes. Mindfulness based approaches such as self observation, self-talk, and self evaluation have been proven to decrease anxiety symptoms, thus teaching adolescents important skills for managing anxiety symptoms.

Written By Atiya Malik from WVCC

West Valley Counseling Center is located at 19634 Ventura Blvd. Suite 212 Tarzana, CA 91356

For more information or to speak to one of our staff, please contact us at (818) 758-9450 or email us at info@westvalleycounseling.org

The stage of adolescent identity formation is a time of confusion, exploration, experimentation and even rebellion. Erik Erikson takes all of these issues into consideration and as such his approach to identity has become a significant tool when trying to understand the development of personality during adolescence.  Erikson (1968) described adolescence in the following terms:

Given Erikson’s theory, the stage of adolescence, identity formation vs. role confusion, is fraught with self-doubt, insight and judgment.  The additional factor of immigration can play a significant role in the identity formation of an adolescent.  Immigration coupled with this developmental stage has proven to be a challenge for this population to navigate.
Clinicians need to understand the acculturation process of this population and to recognize the stressors that can become problematic as they maneuver their way through dual cultures.  The goal is to inform clinicians about the challenges the adolescent Hispanic immigrant population face as they acculturate.  In addition, we must consider the various treatment approaches/options that are available in order to help this population navigate the challenges of adolescence and acculturation.  Addressing the needs of this population will help to normalize the process and to provide coping mechanisms to enable a smoother transition.

Written By Judy Grant from WVCC

West Valley Counseling Center is located at 19634 Ventura Blvd. Suite 212 Tarzana, CA 91356

For more information or to speak to one of our staff, please contact us at (818) 758-9450 or email us at info@westvalleycounseling.org

Depression is one of the most common mental health issues for which people seek therapy. Prevalence rates for depression show that the highest percentage of U.S. adults having experienced a major depressive episode occurs during the developmental stage of emerging adulthood.  Research has described this very distinctive period to be a time of significant exploration with respect to identity, career, love and world view.

It is also a time of major transition between adolescent and adult roles, and of making major life decisions which can offer great challenge and stress.  Some move through this transition smoothly and others struggle, leading to depressive symptomology.  Is there a connection between attachment styles, early attachment disruptions, and psychological well-being later in life?  A review of the literature seems to indicate that there is.  Aaron Beck’s theory of depression views depression as more the result of how an individual sees himself, his life, and his future as opposed to it simply being a mood disorder.  Attachment styles are highly indicative of how an individual perceives himself and others, as well as the world around him.  Secure attachment styles embody self-esteem and resilience, and have been linked with overall psychological well-being whereas insecure attachment styles, which connote low levels of self-worth and interpersonal dysfunction, have been linked to psychopathology later in life.  Insecure attachment styles appear to be the result of early childhood adverse experiences which disrupt the attachment process and prevent the development of a secure attachment to the primary caregiver.  It is this insecure attachment which has been positively linked to depressive symptoms and psychopathology later in life.

Written By Julie Krimstein from WVCC

West Valley Counseling Center is located at 19634 Ventura Blvd. Suite 212 Tarzana, CA 91356

For more information or to speak to one of our staff, please contact us at (818) 758-9450 or email us at info@westvalleycounseling.org

Mindfulness based approaches are ideal for adolescents, as their brains are still in the developmental stage. Mindfulness based practices target the limbic circuitry of the brain, hence reducing emotional reactivity and stress, with improvements in school performance There are sufficient studies to show that mindfulness-based techniques lead to positive changes, and justify the optimism that these techniques are beneficial to a practitioner’s therapeutic repertoire.

When treating families and children, therapists can model mindful parenting to guide change. Mindful parenting that focuses on the benefits of mindfulness based interventions, can enhance parent-child relationships.

Parents who acquire mindfulness skills have an increased capacity to listen with full attention (increased sensitivity to a child’s cues) will adopt a more non judgmental acceptance of self and child. Then, parents have a greater emotional awareness of a child’s emotional state and can respond more easily to a child’s needs, with less negative emotions. Parents also learn self regulation, maintain a focus on parental goals, and avoid short term automated reactive responses. These practices implement more displays of affection for the parent and the child, offer more compassion in the parent-child relationship, and avoid self blame in the parenting role. Integrating these findings on mindful parenting can produce the following results: reduction of parental stress, decreased parental preoccupation resulting from parent/child psychopathology, improved parental executive functioning, reduction in the impact of dysfunctional upbringing schemas and behaviors, increased self- nourishment for the parent and child, and improved marital functioning and co-parenting.

Parents create a social and emotional climate in which children learn to self-regulate, as well as provide the safety net when self regulation fails. High levels of parental emotional dysregulation can result in a high stress environment, and this impairs the parent’s capacity to be emotional available.

Written By Atiya Malik from WVCC

West Valley Counseling Center is located at 19634 Ventura Blvd. Suite 212 Tarzana, CA 91356

For more information or to speak to one of our staff, please contact us at (818) 758-9450 or email us at info@westvalleycounseling.org

There are over 40 million immigrants currently residing in the United States.  Hispanics represent over 14 million of that total.  Approximately ¼ of adolescents in the U.S. are from immigrant families.   Between 2000 and 2012 California reported the largest immigrant growth than any other state.

Adolescents make up the fastest growing segment of the youth population in the United States.  Adolescence is a time of exploration, experimentation and rebellion.  This is the developmental stage where one is striving to form his/her identity.  Adolescent Hispanic immigrants are trying to figure out who they are, what their values are and who they want to be. The transition from adolescence to adulthood is fraught with the challenges of identity.  Hispanic adolescents have the added stress of the acculturation process.  This process comes with its own unique set of challenges.  Stressors emerge that may become even more problematic than the normative stressors of adolescence.  Anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation have been seen to impact this population, however the research has shown that these symptoms do decrease with time and that familism, ethnic identity and collective self-esteem can act as protective factors. In addition, grief work, individual treatment and family support aid in the development of a strong sense of self.

Written By Judy Grant from WVCC

West Valley Counseling Center is located at 19634 Ventura Blvd. Suite 212 Tarzana, CA 91356

For more information or to speak to one of our staff, please contact us at (818) 758-9450 or email us at info@westvalleycounseling.org

Teens can go from being cuddly and precocious children that cannot wait for parents or guardians to come home, to cold and distant roommates that value independence above all else. The transition from child to teen can be a struggle for any family, but there are measures that can be taken to create a more copasetic family life that also grants teens the autonomy and freedom they crave.

Many parents follow their teen’s lead, and allow a gap to slowly widen until things such as self-esteem and grades plummet and behavioral problems may appear. In this case, as with many others, an ounce of prevention really is worth a pound of cure.

Here are some strategies that may help in bonding with reluctant teens:

1. Find Common Ground

Try to engage teens using hobbies such as running, gardening, sports, reading, and music. Having a special activity that everyone enjoys can feel much more comfortable than family dinners or structured events. These activities also provide a creative outlet for teens to express themselves and create healthy habits that can follow them throughout the course of life.

2. Utilize Mornings

Take time to cook breakfast with or for your teens, and ask about their plans for the day. They may surprise you, and let you know about a test they are stressed out about or problems with their social circle. Starting the morning with an encouraging beat will help both parents and teens feel connected throughout the day.

3. Let Them Partake in Important Decisions

Decisions such as moving, taking family vacations, or matters that may have an impact on the family are a great chance to include teens and guide them in making mindful decisions. By giving teens a chance to weigh in on important issues, it creates a safe place for teens to apply logic and refine decision-making skills. Additionally, it empowers teens to validate their autonomy and can help ease tension in times of stress or change.

4. Do not give up!

Reaching a point where teen bonding can occur can take weeks or months of building trust. Parents and caregivers should be patient, consistent, and always available. As tempting as it may be to throw in the towel, the rewards of sealing a bond with a teen will follow them through the course of life, and can be crucial in developing behaviors, attitudes, and motivation as a functioning adult.

If the above tips do not work for specific family circumstances, consider teen therapy at West Valley Counseling Center. West Valley Counseling Center is proud to provide various counseling services, such as teen therapy, anger management, grief and loss counseling, and couples therapy, just to name a few.

West Valley Counseling Center is located at 19634 Ventura Blvd. Suite 212 Tarzana, CA 91356

For more information or to speak to one of our staff, please contact us at (818) 758-9450 or email us at info@westvalleycounseling.org

West Valley Counseling Center Congratulates its recent graduates from Phillips Graduate Institute!

These individuals graduated with Masters in Psychology, and they will be staying on at West Valley Counseling Center as Marriage and Family Therapist Interns.

From Left to Right:

Lisa Markinson, Alex Kofsky, Julie Krimstein, Judy Grant, Nicole Gersheson.

For more information or to speak to one of our staff, please contact us at (818) 758-9450 or email us at info@westvalleycounseling.org

Living with intention is mindfulness at its peak. How many days do individuals trudge to work, pick up the kids, watch television, and go to sleep only to repeat the process the next day? While these tasks are unavoidable, they also may create a way for individuals to emotionally ‘check out’ from dreams, goals, and personal development.

Here are some simple ways to add intention to your life and reap the benefits of introspection and personal achievement:

1. The Importance of Health & Well-Being

It is hard to focus on anything when feeling lethargic, burnt out, or unhealthy. The first step to living with intention is treating yourself and body with respect. That means eating healthy, engaging in moderate exercise, and receiving an adequate amount of sleep. Create a realistic routine, and try to stick with it. Being physically healthy is an important aspect of maintaining emotional well-being, and this is the first step.

2. Set Goals and a Plan of Action

Research supports that the best way to reach a goal is to set sub-goals and determine a plan of action for how to methodically solve each obstacle until the goal is reached. This is less about timelines and more about knowing each step. For example, running a marathon requires months of prep work. Working backwards can help figure out how much training is needed per week until the big race. By using sub-goals such as “running one mile this week, and two the next” helps individuals stay focused and excited about goals.

3. Recognize Your Control (or Lack of Control)

It is important to recognize what aspects of life are controllable and which are not. Many people get sucked into fulfilling the status quo without really doing anything to make them happy. For example, it is hard to control how a boss or manager may act, but it is in an individual’s control to have a discussion with a boss to address the feeling of lack of respect or value.

4. Celebrate Your Successes

Anything worth doing takes time. Enjoy the journey, and celebrate small victories. Little league wins, finishing a poem, or de-cluttering the home office are all tasks that should be celebrated with something that makes you feel happy, alive, and intentioned.

Living with intention provides helpful scaffolding in finding a purpose in life. Intention stems from knowing what brings joy, gratitude, and meaning to life. Another important factor to consider in living with intention is the recognition that goals, identities, and values change over time. Many individuals fixate on a point in the past or an old goal that was never achieved, and they fail to realize that life is fluid and ever changing. Dreams and aspirations may have evolved, and it is okay to change your mind, direction, and thought processes.

For more information or to speak to one of our staff, please contact us at (818) 758-9450 or email us at info@westvalleycounseling.org

West Valley Counseling Center is located at 19634 Ventura Blvd. Suite 212 Tarzana, CA 91356